Title: Colours of my Life
Author: Sardius
Category: Angst/Romance
Warnings: R for now (maybe NC-17 later) see how it goes ne
Pairings: Yohji/Aya(Ran)…..still deciding on the other pairing
Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz, it belongs to it's creator and company.
(sobs) If only they were mine….sniff sniff
Author’s Note: Well this is my first Weiss Kreuz Fanfic, so please be
kind people. I have no idea where this fic will lead to so we all just have
to wait and see. Please review this so I know if I should continue it or put
it in my trash can. Thanks!
Colours of
My Life
A WEIB KREUZ FANFICTION
I see darkness around me
So afraid, so alone
I’m afraid to admit my weakness
When I am the strongest of all
Yet I feel your closeness
Through my fingertips, I touch
Your colours flashes my vision
Banishing my loneliness
And so I realised
There is light
Beyond the darkness
As you are the colours of my life
Fujimiya Ran
Prologue: Forbidden Colours
"The lamp of the body is the eye. Therefore, when the eye is good, your whole body is also full of light. But when your eye is bad, your body is also full of darkness." (Author unknown)
Life can be so unpredictable. One minute you may be living a normal life and the next minute your life is destroyed. That is what happened to me. I always thought I was happy, knowing my parents loved me, my beautiful imouto by my side, but happiness never last. I wonder why? Even now after everything that has happened and I gave myself to him, there is still that sense of pain in my heart.
What if I’ll be like this for the rest of my life?
I don’t want to lose him. Not now. Yet even now I longed to be loved. To have someone to hold me when I am afraid. To protect me when I am not strong. To comfort me when all hopes have vanish in my cold wretched heart. I am so tired of being alone.So tired. I should have given up everything back then when I had the chance. Why didn't he let me fall?
Why? Why must I endure this again?
This darkness, I am always surrounded by it. I feel so alone here sometimes. So alone. But I mustn’t let him know. I wish I could hold onto him but I cannot see the light. And I know I am forever destined to live alone facing this darkness. This quietness. This emptiness…. If only there is…
"Aya...can I come in?"
I knew whose voice that belongs to. So use to it by now. He seems so close yet
so distance from me. I don’t have to know to see the pity in his eyes once I
tell him. I clutched my fist tightly. I have to be strong….
"…......."
I don’t want him to understand how I feel. Even if there is a chance for me. What if I lost? Will he still want me? Like this forever? I don’t want to be a burden to him. God knows he just fooling around with me making me pay for all the sins I’ve done. This life…I’m living is so…..
Warms arms enclosed around me in a tight embrace as I leant back against him. I can scents his hair and feel his cigarettes breath on my skin. So safe. So warm. His presence is the only thing that keeps me stable most of the time.
And if you tell him, you will lose him.
The wind blows softly onto my face and I can feel the heat on my body. Yes, it is still daylight. I can feel it. I shiver despite the heat and he wraps his arm more firmly around me. I am wondering what he'll think if I told him. Would he be happy? Would he want me to go through with it? What if I don’t want to…. at least I still know there is still hope….
But a chance to see…a chance to see him again…why not take it?
I sighed. I know he is very close to me now. I let him hold me as he runs his fingers through my hair and whispered softly in my ear.
"What’s wrong Aya? Tell me…. God…please don’t shut me out again…let me help you …don’t do this to yourself."
There is such sadness in his voice and it hurts my heart to see the pain I put him through. I don’t answer him but just continue to be held in his embrace as one thought crosses my mind.
If only you could Yohji.
If only you could.
* * * * * *
~TBC~