Memories Forgotten

Part 2: To Touch

Yohji grabbed his special shampoo out of his drawer

before heading over to the bathroom. It was several

days since his confrontation with Aya. Things seemed

to have gone back to normal, Aya reverting to his old

self, still glaring when anyone proved brave enough to

annoy him but no longer flying off the handle for no

apparent reason. Yohji had been even more bewildered

than ever but both Omi and Ken had just congratulated

him for making up with Aya. In a bid to save his

sanity, Yohji had finally decided to forget it, to

move on, figuring that whatever strange mood Aya had

been in he’d obviously gotten over it.

Smiling, thinking of the date he had set up for

tonight he threw the bathroom door open and stepped

inside, then stopped. His arms above him as he pulled

his long sleeved sweater off, his red hair in disarray

after escaping the confines of the sweater’s neck,

stood Aya, his back to the door and Yohji. Yohji

looked at the pale arms still held above Aya’s head

and frowned, seeing the odd marks on both arms,

several long lines on each that looked like just

barely healed cuts or scratches.

"What happened to you?"

Aya whirled, startled, and Yohji stared. Starting at

Aya’s throat and going down all the way across his

chest to disappear under the edge of his jeans were a

series of dark, round, bruise like marks: love bites.

"Man, who’d *you* sleep with? Dracula?"

"None of your business!" Aya reached for a shirt and

quickly slipped it on, hiding his arms. The pale

chest framed by the shirt, combined with the marks on

the arms made Yohji gasp in realization.

"Shit, it was you!"

Aya’s head snapped up, violet eyes wide.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about." Yohji

didn’t listen instead he reached forward and snatched

the shirt off one shoulder. Dazed, horror evident in

green eyes, he placed one finger slowly along one of

the cuts.

"I… I did this didn’t I? These cuts... were caused by

my wire."

Aya pulled away, snatching the shirt closed. "I don’t

know what -"

"Bullshit. That night, a few days ago, when I came

home drunk off my ass... I did something to you didn’t

I? I thought maybe I’d dreamed…" Verdant eyes

suddenly widened. "Shit. Aya. Did I… Aya, did I

rape -"

Aya shoved Yohji, hard, and rushed past him, down the

hallway, not caring that he was leaving all his things

strewn about the bathroom. He snatched the door to

his own room open and was about to slam it shut behind

him only to find Yohji standing in his way, arms

holding the door open. Aya’s eyes narrowed.

"Go. Away."

"I did, didn’t I? And all this time I’ve been going

on about… the wildcat I’d slept with, the marks of

passion she’d left on my body. Shit. The marks of

passion she’d left down my back. That was you. You

were probably trying to get away from me, trying to

pull me off and I thought… but you didn’t say anything

and these marks, I must have -Aya, I’m sorry. I

didn’t…"

Aya punched him and Yohji staggered back, stumbling

against the wall of the hallway.

Aya slammed the door shut, bolting it and leaning

against it, body trembling slightly. The door

suddenly shook and he jumped, hearing Yohji calling to

him, demanding he open the door.

::Damn it:: He stepped away from the door and across

his room. ::Damn it all!::

When he’d realized that Yohji didn’t remember, had

obviously forgotten what had transpired on that night

he had felt an unexpected weight lift from him. He

had been able to relax again, to not tense each time

the taller man came near him.

But now, Yohji remembered. Yohji remembered... but it

was all wrong. ::Rape?:: He thought angrily. ::How

could it be rape when he had had him begging for it,

straining up to meet him? How could it be rape when I

had been clutching at him, trying to draw him in

deeper?::

::Baka yaro! Damn you, Yohji, why couldn’t you just

have kept on not remembering. Why when I....... I

remember it all too well.::

The door shook again as Yohji pounded on it, his voice

rising as he called to Aya to open the door, to talk

to him.

::I need to get out of here.::

Since Yohji was still at his front door he took the

only exit he could: the window. He jumped down to

street level and just started walking, not caring

where he went so long as it was away. Away from the

Koneko and Yohji. He walked for what must have been

hours, mind whirling, emotions clashing within him and

threatening to explode. When he finally looked up he

found himself standing outside of a closed, white

door. On the door there was a small plaque, a name in

neat kanji written upon it: Fujimiya Aya. ::Fujimiya

Aya. Aya.:: Slowly, he pushed the door open.

Immediately his nose was assaulted by the combined

scents of flowers and medicines, his ears by the

insistent beeping of machines.

"Konbanwa, imouto-chan. Daijoubo desu ka?"

~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~

::What have I done? What have I done?::

"Aya, open this door. Aya! Do you hear me? We need

to talk. Aya! Open up."

Yohji paced back and forth in the small hallway that

spanned the distance between their rooms, hands

tugging at his hair nervously as he waited impatiently

for the door to open. But it didn’t. It remained

locked and silent. He prepared to knock on it again,

to yell at it again, to demand that it be opened.

"Yohji-kun, is something wrong?" The soft, concerned

voice startled him. He whirled to face Omi.

::Wrong?:: he thought, an insane urge to laugh

gripping him. ::Oh no, not at all. I just happen to

have raped the most psychotic and unstable of our

teammates. Nothing’s wrong.::

"Something I can help with?"

"Iie, Omi." He tried to smile at the boy and failed

miserably. "This is just something between me and

Aya."

Omi frowned at him cutely, large blue eyes concerned

as he looked from him to the closed door. "Are you

sure?"

"Hai, Omi. Don’t worry. I’ll fix it." ::If I can.::

"Okay. If you need any help just let me know, okay?"

"Hai."

Reluctantly Omi left. Yohji turned and glowered at

the door. It was still closed, no sound coming from

within. Deciding that it would not open on its own he

looked around, making sure Omi had left and there was

no one else around. Quickly, before he could change

his mind, he picked the lock.

::Damn you, Aya, for making me do this.:: Slowly he

pushed the door open, expecting a katana blade

straight to the head at any moment but... the room

was empty. "Damn you, Aya!" he exploded, wanting

desperately to hit something, anything. He looked

around the room and spotted the open window, the

curtains moving faintly in the evening wind. His

shoulders slumped. ::Aya.:: "I’m sorry," he

whispered to the room before turning again, leaving

the silent room to its emptiness, making sure to

relock the door as he closed it behind him.

Outside a light mist had begun to fall. Yohji stared

out his window into it not seeing it. Night had long

since fallen but he had been unable to sleep. The

marks he had seen on Aya’s arm kept running through

his mind. Though he tried and tried he couldn’t

remember what had happened that night and, yet, still,

he could imagine it well enough. He could imagine the

pale arms coated in red as his wire bit into the skin.

The violet eyes glaring daggers as they looked up at

him, closing in pain as he must have forced his way

in. The cool mask Aya habitually wore broken with a

cry of sudden pain. His own hands and mouth moving

over unwilling flesh.

"What sort of monster does that to a friend?"

Running across his mind’s eye he remembered the slow

way Aya had moved that day in the shop, arms held

close to his body as if he were afraid of any

accidental jaring. ::Aya:: He remembered his own

laughter as he teased Omi and Ken about the wildcat he

had captured the night before. ::Shit, Aya must have

though I mocked him.:: He remembered the day they

were both alone in the shop, Aya’s shying away from

him, his flinching from his touch and even Omi’s when

the young boy had accidentally grabbed his arm to get

his attention.

::Aya. How badly did I hurt you? What exactly did I

do? Why didn’t you say anything? All this time and

you never said anything. What have I done?::

Outside the night grew darker to match his mood as the

rain came down harder. ::Aya.::

~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~

Dawn was just beginning to claim the horizon when

there came a knock at his door. He forced his eyes

away from the lightening sky and over to his door.

The knock came again and then the door was being

pushed open.

"Yohji, you up?" Ken asked as he poked his head into

the darkened room.

He had not slept at all that night, wracking his mind,

trying to remember something, anything of what

transpired that night. He had had no luck. The only

things he had seen were the images his own mind had

created to torture him, agonizingly vivid behind his

heavy lids, but nothing he could truly call a memory.

He shook his head to clear it of the thoughts and

images. Ken spoke up again.

"We have a mission. Manx is here."

"Have you seen Aya?"

Ken gave him an odd look. "He’ already downstairs,

waiting with Omi. Come on." Yohji quickly got up and

followed him. There, looking as if he had just walked

in, rain clinging to his hair and clothes, stood Aya.

Ignoring Manx and the others he moved over to stand

next to him mouth opened as if he would speak but

stopped, uncertain. He felt Aya tense but that was

all the acknowledgement he was granted. Aya kept

staring forward, eyes locked on Manx, his lips pressed

into a thin line and eyes narrowed.

"Aya," he began, then paused, unsure of what he should

say, what he *could* say. What does one tell a friend

after such a betrayal? Is there anything? The word

sorry seemed so inadequate. It was not enough. It

would never be enough.

Aya kept hi gaze trained forward, on something other

than him, the only acknowlegement of Yohji’s presence

the further tensing of the already stiff body.

"Balinese, I’m glad you’ve finally decided to join us.

If you’ll please take a seat?" Manx asked with a

raised eyebrow. Yohji started, suddenly cognizant

that there were others around. Quickly, Yohji took a

seat where he could still watch Aya. Aya took his

customary position: arms crossed across his chest and

leaning against the wall.

As Manx spoke, outlining their mission, Yohji didn’t

listen; all he could do was stare at that pale face

and the customary cold mask. Had he not seen the

marks on Aya’s arms and suddenly remembered something

of what had happened that night he would have no way

of knowing anything was wrong. Aya was his usual

self, not acknowledging Yohji’s stare even though he

must have been aware of the concerned weight of it.

When Aya nodded his acceptance of the mission Yohji

quickly added his own assent even though he had no

idea what the mission was about.

Manx nodded in satisfaction and handed Omi the folder

with all the pertinent information then left to allow

them to plan.

"Okay guys, here’s the plan. This isn’t going to be

hard just be a lot of work. Ken will be with me. Aya

will go in the front. Yohji -"

"I’m with Aya."

Omi blinked at the interruption, large blue eyes

startled. Yohji blushed but held firm. "I’m with

Aya."

Aya shifted against the wall, eyes narrowed. "No."

Yohji turned to look at him green eyes begging.

"Aya..."

Omi didn’t know what was going on but he decided he

better step in before Yohji and Aya started in on one

of their frequent arguments.

"Actually, Yohji, that is what I had in mind. The

front entrance is going to be well guarded but it’s

our best chance of catching all the targets in one

place."

"Why can’t Ken?" Aya questioned.

"Gomen, Aya-kun, but from these guys’ profiles we know

that they are quick to run. If that happens I’ll be

sitting right on top of the only bolthole. When they

come they’ll come with lots of guards. In such close

quarters Ken’s weapon is more effective than Yohji’s

wire or your katana. Is... is something wrong with

this plan?"

"Nothing," Aya said coldly, hands clenched. Omi

turned his head to Yohji who was still staring at Aya,

a hurt look on his face. Omi frowned in confusion.

"Yohji-kun?"

"The plan is fine, Omittchi. I’ll be there." He

turned to give Omi a reassuring smile. When he turned

back to face Aya he found the stoic red head gone. He

heard the quiet steps heading up the ladder and

cursed. Standing he quickly hurried after the other

man.

"Aya! Wait up. Aya." Yohji made it up the stairs

only to see Aya’s door close and hear the lock hit

home. "Shit." He stood there, undecided for several

minutes, pondering his chances of getting Aya to

actually open the door and speak to him. Deciding his

chances were next to nil he went to go get ready for

tonight. He would have to have at least a few minutes

alone with the redhead, he would speak with him then.

"Where’s Aya?" Yohji looked around as he checked the

release mechanism of his wire one last time. Ken

shrugged and Omi answered him. "He said he would meet

us there."

"What? Where did he go?"

Omi shrugged. "He wouldn’t say. Only that he would

meet us there."

"That bastard." Yohji angrily stomped his way down

the stairs.

"Hey, wait for us." Ken and Omi quickly ran after

him, barely having a chance to jump into the car

before the Super Seven was flying, tearing out of the

garage, its tires screeching.

"Hey, slow down. What are you trying to do? Kill

us?" Ken yelled grabbing desperately for the seat

belt.

Yohji didn’t respond but he did slow down, a bit,

green eyes flashing as he stared straight ahead. In

record time they were at the target site. They got

out of the car and Yohji prepared to move off to his

and Aya’s designated position when Omi stopped him.

"Yohji-kun, is something wrong? For the past couple

of days..." Omi looked up at him with wide eyes, his

small hands twisting before him. Yohji forced a smile

to reassure him and reached out to ruffle his hair.

"I’m okay, Omi. Don’t worry about me, okay? Now, go

on. You two need to be in position before me and Aya

break in the front door."

"But he’s not here yet," Ken pointed out, anger

evident in his tone.

"It’s still early. If Aya-kun said he’d be here then

he will. Right?" Omi glanced worriedly between the

two.

"Right, Omittchi. Now, you two go. Be ready and be

careful, okay?"

Omi nodded and left. Ken hesitated, giving Yohji one

last, annoyed glance before following the younger boy.

Yohji sighed and looked around, again, for their

leader.

"Damn it, Aya. You’re doing this deliberately. I

know it."

The time for the mission drew closer and closer but

still there was no sign of the leader of Weiss. Ken

angrily proposed that they postpone the mission but

Omi quietly informed them that this was their one sure

chance of getting all their targets in one place.

Yohji commanded that the mission be carried out.

The time arrived and still no Aya. The mission began

with Omi worrying over their missing member and Ken

cursing at him. It was not until Yohji had already

kicked down the front door, his wire flying out to

capture the first of his targets that he felt the

presence of a katana wielding shadow behind him,

fighting right there beside him. So startled was he

that Yohji almost let one man get past his guard, the

dagger meant for his heart evaded by the smallest of

margins. ::Shit. Concentrate Kudou, you can chew the

guy out later.::

But Yohji couldn’t concentrate, his mind and eyes

straying time and time again to the pale form that was

quickly and efficiently dealing death to any that

dared to stand before him. So distracted was he that

several times the only thing that kept him from

getting himself killed were his quick reflexes and a

desperate evasion.

As he moved across the room he stuck close to Aya, an

eye always trained on him, cataloging watched his

movements, searching for any hesitancy that might

speak of pain, of any of the damage he must surely

have caused him. Aya ignored him, weaving in and out

of the path of his wire without even looking at him,

his katana striking out at the targets. Yohji

couldn’t keep his eyes from widening when he saw the

man who was to be Aya’s next opponent. The guy was

huge, perhaps a foot taller than the redhead and

surely weighing twice as much. Aya, none-the-less,

raised his sword, violet eyes narrowed as he faced the

new opponent.

:Aya, you idiot.:: Yohji rushed forward, intent on

saving Aya from the brute before him, wire already

arcing across the room when he suddenly saw Aya raise

his katana right; into the path of his own weapon. He

tried to pull it back but too late, the wire and

katana tangled together, throwing both weapons off.

The large man grinned at their predicament and crashed

a large fist down on Aya’s unprotected face. Yohji

cried out and began to run towards them only to

stumble in pain. He turned to see the man who had

taken advantage of his distraction drawing his arm

back, the blood on his silver blade glistening as he

pulled it from Yohji’s side. Anger and panic for Aya

rising in him Yohji kicked at the man, sending him

flying back to slam against the wall. The man slid

down the wall, the blade slipping from limp fingers as

he slowly slumped down unconscious. Yohji ignored him

and turned back to Aya. He was in time to watch Aya

raise the gleaming blade high above his head and bring

it down on the other, nearly splitting the man in half

as the blade cut deep. The man obviously dead Aya

turned to face Yohji, violet eyes glaring. Yohji

winced as he noticed that the left side of Aya’s face

was already beginning to darken and swell in a bruise.

With a disgusted look Aya turned away from him,

katana once more raised before him as he searched for

a new target.

What seemed like several hours later but in reality

was only about one found them all gathered in front of

the building once more, all within dead. Ken and Omi

were the last out being the furthest in. As they came

up to them Omi cast a concerned look over their

injuries.

"Yohji-kun, Aya-kun. Are you two okay?" Omi asked

worriedly.

"We’re fine, Omi." Yohji answered him wishing they

had taken a few minutes longer in joining them so he

could have had a chance to speak with Aya alone.

"You’re bleeding," Ken pointed out and reached out to

examine his wound.

"It’s only a scratch," Yohji said evading his hand.

"Come on, we have to get out of here before the cops

show."

Aya, having confirmed that they were all out and safe,

began to move off to his own car.

"Aya, wait, where are you going?" Aya ignored him and

continued walking, pale form disappearing within the

shadows of the growing night. Yohji cursed, undecided

as to whether he should chase after him or not.

Making up his mind he tossed his keys to Ken and raced

after Aya, limping slightly as he clutched at his

wounded side. He saw Aya already climbing into his

own car and made a mad dash towards the passenger

side. Aya glared at him but waited until he was

seated before taking off. Yohji gulped and quickly

pulled on his seatbelt as the building was soon left

behind

For the first part of the ride there was nothing but

silence, Yohji not knowing what to say and Aya not

seemingly inclined to speak. Yohji wanted desperately

to know what had happened that night but would the red

head tell him, would he accept an apology or would he

rather take Yohji’s head in payment? Why hadn’t he

said anything? What exactly had happened?

"Aya," he began hesitantly only to be cut off by Aya’s

harsh voice.

"What the hell was that back there?"

Yohji frowned, confused. Aya growled and took a

corner rather sharply, causing Yohji to clutch the

passenger door tightly.

"What where you trying to do? Get me killed? Get

yourself killed?"

::Ahh, he meant back at the building.::

"I was worried."

"Worried?" The harsh, disbelieving tone was

accompanied by yet another sharp turn and another

desperate grab at the car door. Yohji checked to make

sure he had locked it and relaxed only marginally when

he realized that he had.

"Aya, slow down. Please." Aya ignored him. Yohji

gulped and wondered if Aya meant to take his revenge

this way, either by crashing them or giving him a

heart attack. "Aya, please. We need to talk."

"There is nothing to talk about."

"That’s bullshit and you know it." He said, his anger

suddenly rising. "I want to know exactly what

happened that night. That night when I... raped..."

"You did not rape me!" A car swerved, barely missing

them as Aya ran a red light.

"Aya, I don’t remember any of what happened that

night. Not really. I know I was drunk and I remember

sleeping with someone but I assumed... I’m sorry.

Please tell me what to do."

"Nothing. You do nothing. Nothing happened."

Aya pulled up in front of the Koneko no Sumu Ie and

jumped out almost before the car had completely

stopped.

"Aya, wait! Aya! Please." Yohji jumped out of the

car and headed after him. "What did I -? What can I

-? Why didn’t you say anything? Aya. Aya?" But he

was speaking to empty air. Aya had once again

barricaded himself within the sanctuary of his own

room, leaving Yohji panting and in more pain than his

wound could account for. ::Aya. What have I done? I

raped you. I know I must have. Why else would you be

wearing the marks of my wire? What else did I do to

you, Aya? How badly did I hurt you? Aya.::

"Damn it, Aya. Aya, I’m sorry." He had almost made

up his mind to force his way into Aya’s room when he

heard the sound of his own car pulling into the

garage. A few minutes later Omi and Ken were making

their way up the stairs to him. Yohji glared at the

door then stopped. ::What right really do I have to

be angry with Aya? I was the one who... I... Aya,

I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry. I don’t even know what to

say. I never in a million years believed I was

capable of doing something like that. And now I don’t

even remember. How badly did I hurt you? Are you

okay? Gods, what a question. Rather, are you going

to be okay?::

"Yohji, what are you doing just standing there?

You’re bleeding all over the carpet!"

"Yohji-kun, why haven’t you bandaged that yet? Here,

come into the bathroom with me and I’ll take care of

it."

"No, it’s alright, Omi." ::I don’t deserve your

concern.:: "It’s just a scratch. I can clean it and

bandage it myself. Don’t worry."

"A scratch?" Omi stared at the large amount of blood

soaking Yohji’s side with disbelief. "That doesn’t

look like just a scratch."

"Omi, please. Just leave it be. Okay?" Slowly,

trying not to show just how much pain he was in, Yohji

made his way to his own room. Ken and Omi were left

staring after him dumbfounded.

~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~

Yohji had been sitting there, staring out at nothing

for what must have been hours when he heard his door

open. Sighing heavily, expecting either Omi or Ken he

turned to face the door. The long shadow there

shifted as if waiting for something, then, as if

making up its mind moved closer, clicking the light on

as he stepped inside.

"You wouldn’t let Ken or Omi so I came to check on

your wound."

Yohji blinked, and then blinked again before it

finally registered.

"You - you came to check on *my* wound? What about

you? I –"

"We will not speak of that." Aya bent down to peer at

Yohji’s side, his face impassive as fingers came out

to inspect the crudely wrapped wound.

"But, Aya!"

"Damn it, Yohji!" Aya pulled away. "Nothing

happened."

"Something did happen. I know it did."

"Fine. If you won’t shut up then I’ll leave." Aya

turned as if he would do just that.

"No, wait. Look, I’ll shut up. Okay? Just don’t

go. Just, tell me... you’re okay. Or at least that

you will be."

Aya glared at him for several minutes. Then he bent

down and quickly took the clumsy bandage Yohji had

wrapped around himself off. Quietly, efficiently, he

inspected and cleaned the wound before wrapping a new

bandage around it. He put the first aid supplies back

into the side drawer where Yohji kept them and stood

as if to leave. Yohji stared after him sadly, hope of

any answer lost. At the threshold Aya paused.

Without looking at Yohji, eyes facing into the

darkened hallway he spoke slowly, softly.

"I’m *fine.*"

Then he closed the door.

~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~

The first thing that greeted Yohji the next morning as

he stepped out of his door was the sound of Ken’s

voice raised in anger. He was yelling at Aya for

leaving Yohji in the hallway alone bleeding. Aya just

stood there, silent, violet eyes flashing but face

impassive as he listened to Ken rage at him. Yohji,

walking down the stairs slowly due to his injury

noticed and stopped to listen. Realizing *why* Ken

was yelling at Aya he rushed down the rest of the

stairs, jarring his injured side, and moved to stand

protectively in front of Aya.

"Don’t yell at Aya!" He growled at Ken.

Aya pulled Yohji roughly around to yell up at him.

"Don’t defend me!"

"He shouldn’t butt in when he doesn’t know the facts."

"Neither do you!"

"Then, for the gods’s sakes, tell me."

Aya glared up at him then abruptly turned away.

"Aya, please."

Aya didn’t even pause as he stalked away. Yohji

prepared to go after him but Ken stopped him by

grabbing his arm.

"What the hell is going on between you two?" Yohji

whirled around to face him, green eyes flashing.

"None of your damn business so just butt out!" Yohji

stomped away.

"You know," Ken said thoughtfully to no one, "if I

didn’t know better I’d say those two were in the

middle of a lover’s quarrel... nah."

~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~

::I raped Aya. I raped Aya. I. Raped. Aya.::

Yohji was ready to tear his hair out. Ken and Omi

were getting angry and more concerned each day and Aya

refused to speak to him. ::Agh!:: Well, he would

force Aya to talk to him. He had knocked on Aya’s

door and when he had received no answer had broken in

again once more to face an empty room. But this time

he didn’t leave, the room’s silence made him even more

angry and determined to talk to the redhead.

Relocking the door so Aya would not suspect he had

taken a seat upon the bed and prepared to wait no

matter how long it took. That had been hours ago. It

was nearly midnight and Aya had yet to return.

::Damn it, Aya. Where are you? We need to talk.

I... I... God, what am I going to say? Maybe this

isn’t such a good idea. Maybe I should leave before

he gets back. Maybe I... but I can’t leave this like

this. I... I...::

"What are you doing here?" Icy question in an even

icier tone as Aya walked into his room. Yohji jumped,

startled, he had been so lost in his own tumultuous

thoughts that he hadn’t even heard the door opening.

"We need to talk and this time I’m not leaving until

we do, Aya."

"We have nothing to talk about. Get out of my room."

"Bullshit, Aya. Look, maybe you’re in denial. Maybe

you’re trying to force yourself to believe that

nothing happened but you can’t. Trying to block

something that horrible only leads to tragedy. You

need to talk to someone and I know you, you probably

haven’t even seen a doctor. I probably hurt you badly

and you probably haven’t even spoken to anyone about

it. Aya, you need to talk. If not to me then with

someone else. Please don’t keep this all bottled up

inside. I’m sorry for what I did. Gods, but you

don’t know how sorry. Please let me make it up to

you. Tell me what to do. Anything, I’ll do it. Just

please forgive me, please... Aya."

"Damn it, Yohji, it wasn’t rape!"

"Then what about your arms? You were obviously trying

to get away, to get free -"

"I wanted to touch you!" The sudden outburst caught

Yohji off guard and left him staring at Aya.

"What?"

Aya pressed a fist to his forehead, body trembling

slightly as he fought to keep himself from killing the

blonde. "Damn you to the seventh hell, Yohji."

Straightening he looked back up at the other man.

With a voice strained from the calm forced on it he

spoke again. "You didn’t hurt me. You didn’t rape

me."

"But your arms! Some of those cuts are pretty deep."

"I was struggling against the wire because I wanted to

touch you. You wouldn’t let me -"

Verdant eyes narrowed and Yohji cut him off, voice

disbelieving. "And why did I place the wires on you

in the first place? Huh, Aya? Answer me that."

Aya took a deep breath, eyes closed as he leaned back

against the wall for support. He crossed his arms

before him, closing himself off, distancing himself.

"I *was* fighting you... at first. You were drunk and

being your usually idiotic, drunken self. I had

fallen asleep on the couch. You were obviously too

drunk to make it up the stairs so I guess you decided

to crash on the couch. You came in and jumped on me.

I tried to push you off. Then you started to... I

began to fight you. You tied me up and then... I

wasn’t anymore. I was fighting to get closer. The

end. Satisfied?"

Aya pushed off the wall and made as if to leave the

room. Yohji caught at his arm, mouth open to speak.

Aya evaded his touch, violet eyes narrowing.

"Don’t touch me."

‘I wanted’

"Aya... I had no idea."

Aya glared at him. "It not what you’re thinking.

Even drunk as you were you were still..." Aya closed

his eyes as if the next few words pained him. "you

are a very skilled lover. I’ve never..." Aya

straightened. "Look. It’s over. It happened. Leave

it be."

"But Aya -"

"No. This conversation is over. We will not speak of

it again." Aya turned again to leave. Yohji reached

out once more.

"Don’t touch me. Don’t ever touch me again."

One last glare at Yohji and he was gone, long form

disappearing through the door. Leaving Yohji alone to

stare after him, hand still outstretched.

___________

ShadowMist

Date finished: 11/18/01

I used a bit of the Victorian flower language in this

fic but since I am not fluent in it I apologize if I

made any mistakes.

1. whin = anger

belladonna = silence

burdock = touch me not

2. rose, white = silence

3. columbine, red = anxious and trembling

syringa = memory

4. love-in-a-mist = perplexity

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