Nothing Gold Can Stay

Chapter 5

*******

Gradually becoming aware of a droning, high-pitched buzz, Yohji
begrudgingly woke up. His neck felt stiff as all hell, he was hot
and sweaty, and there was an unconscious redhead resting on him. Not
an altogether unusual circumstance, but usually it happened to be
that they were in bed sleeping, not sitting on the couch. Damn, but
was he sore. It slowly came back to him, the events a few hours ago;
the strange, half-remembered dream and finding Aya awake and
agitated, suffering from a nightmare and another of those killer
headaches of his. Why the hell wasn't the medication working? Was
Aya that stressed out over the upcoming medical exams?

The person in question just remained on his lap, not aware at all of
the buzzing sound that normally had him jumping out of bed so he
could set up the shop. That wasn't a good sign. It meant that the
headache had to have been really bad last night, and the bottle of
whiskey on top of those pills probably didn't help matters at all.
Groaning as he forced stiff muscles to move, Yohji carefully rose
from the couch, holding a limp Aya tight in his arms. As soon as he
set his lover down on the bed the man started shivering, so the blond
tucked the covers tight around the slender form. Jerking a hand
through his hair, Yohji cursed softly. There was no way Aya was
going to be able to open the shop, guess it fell to him to take care
of the Koneko no Sumu Ie. On a day when he wasn't scheduled to work
until the afternoon. Just fucking great. "I'm gonna kill the
bastards for putting you through hell, kitten. Nobody messes with
you and my sleep like this."

Brushing back ragged crimson bangs, Yohji bent down to kiss Aya's
forehead and went to get a shower. When he came back twenty minutes
later he found that the redhead hadn't moved at all. Tucking the
blankets in even tighter, he made sure the curtains were drawn and
got dressed. Soon enough he made his way to the kitchen, brewing a
pot of coffee with twice as much grounds as usual. He needed the
extra caffeine kick this morning. After two cups Yohji felt
fortified enough to head into the shop and start setting things up.
It took him a little longer than usual, the playboy was unable to
remember the last time he'd opened the Koneko with no help at all.
Usually Aya was with him when he had the morning shift. That was the
only reason he agreed to work before noon at all.

Yohji paused in the middle of sweeping the floor, a faint memory
emerging from the recess of his mind. For a moment a voice teased
through his thoughts, feminine with a trace of an accent, warning him
about choosing the past. It had something to do with that strange
dream he'd had last night, of some woman in a garden muttering
obscure warnings. There was another flash as well, this time of Aya
drawing Mastermind towards a bed, kissing the foreign bastard. His
hands clenched tight against the wooden handle, causing it to creak
in stress. Where the fuck had that come from? Again he heard the
woman's voice, telling him the consequences of him choosing the past.

Great, Aya had officially driven him insane. He knew it would only
be a matter of time, what with trying to figure out what went on in
the swordsman's head, but he had to be certifiable to even imagine
for a _moment_ that Aya would ever willingly sleep with the Bastard.
Nope, that was never going to happen. Not in a million years, no
matter how much Mastermind tried to make it so. The kitten was
_his_. No one else got to play with him, ever. Yohji wasn't ever
going to let go of the man; moody, sneaky, short-tempered, quiet
bastard that Aya was. Hell, he got to keep the redhead just on the
principal of what he'd been through the past several months alone.
And not even Asuka had ever gotten him out of bed this early, unless
it involved a bucket of ice-cold water. He'd paid his dues, and got
to keep the prize in reward.

Now to prevent Kritiker from driving Aya crazy, what with the shit
they'd pulled on him this week alone. First those missions, and now
the doctor visits. No wonder his lover was acting like a basket
case, having to just take whatever the organization they worked for
dished out, no options at all. For a moment the blond fantasized
about bundling up Aya and driving off to Villa White, staying there
for the next month or two. Things had been so good during their week
up there, Aya had actually relaxed and had some fun. Which the man
sorely deserved and needed. Not all this shit.

Shop all ready for the day, Yohji walked over to the counter,
checking out the orders. "Fuck." The stack was huge, there was no
way he'd be able to do all the arrangements before they needed to be
done. It took him forever to do just one, trying hard to make
something that a customer would actually pay money for. Maybe he
could get a few simple ones out of the way, but a lot of these were
too formal for his limited skill. "Guess there's no hope for it."
Resolutely he made his way back up stairs.

And bypassed his bedroom door for the one opposite it. Entering the
room, he sat down on the twin bed and commenced shaking its occupant
awake. "Hey kiddo, need you to wake up. Come on, show me those baby
blues." The teenager only mumbled something and hid underneath the
sheet, but Yohji remained persistent. "Come on, Omi, need you to
come downstairs." Nothing. Leaning over his teammate, he whispered
in Omi's ear. "Ken wants to take you out to breakfast, chibi. Said
something about the two of you and lots of maple syrup."

"Ken?" Omi wearily opened his eyes, hearing the brunet's name
mentioned. And didn't see the person he was expecting and longing
to. "What? Yohji?" As soon as the youth emerged from the sheets
Yohji snatched at him and yanked him upright. "Ah! Yohji, what are
you doing? Let go of me, you pervert! Aya!"

A pair of green eyes were rolled dramatically. "Just waking you up,
chibi. Someone stay up a little late last night surfing for some
porn or what? Doing a bit of research for when Ken finally comes to
his senses?"

Brain not quite functioning properly, Omi tried to make sense of the
situation. Yohji was sitting on his bed, wasn't about to molest him,
and it wasn't even nine o'clock yet. "What's the emergency this
time? Is Ken and Aya alright?" The playboy only ever woke up this
early if there was something going on. He struggled against the
tangled sheets, eager to face whatever it was dressed and on his feet.

Yohji grabbed a hold of his arm and held him still. "It's nothing
that bad. Aya had another migraine last night, a nasty one. No way
the man is going to get out of bed anytime today, so I opened the
shop instead of him. Got everything done but the orders." Green
eyes sparkled at him, though shadowed by worry and lack of
sleep. "That's where you come in, chibi. Sorry, but don't think I
can manage them without some help."

Patting the long fingers wrapped completely around his forearm, Omi
smiled reassuringly. "It's okay, Yotan. Sleeping in would be nice,
but I'd rather help you out. Is Aya all right?" As soon as he was
released the youth headed for the jeans he'd tossed off the night
before. A clean shirt, comb through his hair, and he was mostly
ready to face the day.

"Besides the fact that he's not supposed to be having these headaches
anymore? Just fucking peachy. You think there's any coincidence
between the timing and the news of the doctor visits? Kritiker needs
to back the hell off." And the next time he saw Manx or Birman,
Yohji planned on telling them just that. He got off the bed and
headed for the door. "There some strong coffee on, I'll be down in a
couple of minutes." Omi nodded his head as he watched the older man
leave, then made for the bathroom himself.

Once in his room Yohji sat down next to his boyfriend, threading his
fingers through the crimson hair. Aya had curled up in a ball under
the blankets. It was a constant wonder to the blond how the man
could sleep that covered during the summer. Hell, the only reason he
could stand the comforter being over him during the night was the
fact that Aya was usually between him and it, a cool presence to the
touch.

For a moment Yohji wondered what was really bringing on the
headaches. Stress was definitely a part of it, they tended to spike
when things were bad with the redhead, but maybe that wasn't the only
factor. And then you had to consider how cold the man was anymore,
nothing seemed to warm him up. Was all of this due to his power?
Aya had been predicting things more and more often the past couple of
months, was this the result of it?

Unfortunately, there wasn't an easy way for him to find out. The
only psychics that he knew of wanted to kill him on the spot. And it
would most likely be a very bad idea to talk to Aya about it. The
redhead didn't want to hear anything that suggested he wasn't normal,
mention the word `freak' and it was as if you had hit the man. Look
at what had happened earlier in the week, when he had carelessly
called Aya inhuman. "You never make things easy, do you love. Does
the word `high maintenance' ring a bell?" It was most likely a good
thing that Aya was dead to the world, or he would have been decked
over that comment. Smiling a little, Yohji leaned over and pressed
his lips to a pale forehead. "That's okay, I think I'll keep you
anyways." He kissed his lover, pulling back far enough to watch the
man's face as he flicked an eartail against Aya's nose. There was a
slight increase in the furrow between the crimson eyebrows, and the
covers inched up a little. Aw, the kitten was just too cute. Might
as well have a little fun now, the older man knew that given the pain
and most likely a hangover as well, the redhead was going to be a
nightmare to be around later. Giving Aya one more kiss, Yohji stood
up and walked away.

He found Omi busy on the arrangements when he returned to the
shop. "That looks great, kiddo. Don't know how you and Aya manage
to do stuff like that." For his part Omi just smiled as he rolled
his eyes, it had been a very frustrating several months trying to get
the former detective up to the level of floral arrangement that he
currently was at. Blue eyes followed the lanky form as Yohji
unlocked the door and lifted up the shutters, announcing to Tokyo
that the Koneko was open for business. Before retreating to the
register, Yohji leaned in the doorway and had a smoke. "Damn, gonna
be a muggy one today."

"Well at least it isn't as hot as it was last summer. I thought I
was going to melt for most of the season." It had made one long for
winter, just to escape the heat and humidity. And of course once
that season had arrived, Omi had started to wish that summer would
hurry back. He shook his head at how feckless he could be at times.
At least on some matters. "So what are your plans for tonight, Yohji-
kun? Going out? Or are you going to stay home instead?"

"Huh, I'm supposed to meet Masato later at a new club that is
opening." Yohji wondered if he should call and cancel their evening
out. If he knew Aya half as well as he should by this point, the man
wasn't going to insist that he stay home and baby him. Not exactly
his lover's style. "I'll figure out later if I'm going or not. What
about you?"

The youth blushed slightly. "I was hoping to try and talk Ken into
going to a movie tonight. There's this science fiction one playing
down the street that I think he'll like."

"And then try a move in the dark? Naughty chibi," Yohji leered. "I
have a better movie theatre in mind. Why don't you take him to the
one by the Ishii department store?"

It took Omi a moment to realize which one his friend was referring
to. "Yohji! That- that place is _nasty_! How can you suggest that?"

Still leering at the younger blond, Yohji flicked away his cigarette
and strolled over to the register. "Come on, maybe it'll get the boy
all hot and heavy to see all that naked flesh writhing on the
screen. It could give him a few ideas. And no one will mind if the
two of you get it on while you're watching. They might even suggest
some pointers." Oh, it was too funny, watching the chibi do his best
carp impression, all red in the face.

"I- oh, YOHJI!" Three mums and a roll of ribbon were tossed at the
playboy with deadly accuracy. "Poor Aya, putting up with such a
pervert like you. No wonder he has these headaches! You've probably
dragged him off to that place yourself."

A customer entering the shop prevented Yohji from commenting on the
improbability of that statement, considering the fact that he was
still alive. The normal Friday pace soon took over, the two
assassins busy with customers seeking flowers for the weekend, making
arrangements and tending the plants. But not so busy that Yohji
couldn't keep dropping a few `helpful' suggestions whenever he
could. Omi blushed so often that several of the clientele commented
that the heat must be getting to him, urging the teenager to take a
break and cool off. The older blond would only chuckle when this
happened, and was prepared to dodge whatever was at hand that his
teammate would throw whenever the customers left.

*******

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, Ken wiped away some of the
condensation and tried to decide if he should get a haircut that
weekend. The bangs were a bit on the shaggy side, in his face almost
as much as Aya's were. Most likely would be a good idea to get them
trimmed then, he didn't understand how the swordsman could still
wield his katana so accurately when he was half blind. As if
summoned by the thought, Aya burst into the bathroom.

"What the hell?" Ken jumped back as the door was thrown open, a very
pale redhead stumbling over to the toilet. "Okay, Aya, this isn't
funny anymore! What is with your sudden fascination to see me naked
and wet?" He barely managed to catch his towel before it slid off
his hips, and then almost lost it again as he stared at the other man
in shock. Aya was kneeling on the floor, throwing up into the
toilet. "Hey, uhm, are you alright?" There was no answer, just the
other man racked with a case of the dry heaves.

After several minutes Aya slumped against the wall, skin pure white
and clammy. The brunet had noticed while his friend was being ill
that he wasn't dressed for work, in fact appeared to have just
crawled out of bed. Aya had to be really sick if he wasn't down in
the flower shop, he was scheduled for the open shift that morning.
Glancing out the open door, Ken waited for Yohji to come in and take
care of their leader. Nothing. Just the two of them, him holding
the towel tightly around his waist and Aya, eyes closed and taking
deep breaths through his mouth, as if trying hard not to throw up
again.

Shit. Guess it was up to him then. Leaning over, Ken snagged a
couple of tissues and carefully offered them to Aya. It took a
moment for the pale man to notice them, once they were brushed
against his nose the dark violet eyes snapped open in a violent
glare. The look softened somewhat when he realized what the athlete
was offering him. "Hn." Aya wiped at his mouth, but otherwise
didn't move any from the floor or wall.

Ken debated if he should lend any other assistance. It wouldn't do
to lose a hand or another body part trying to help pick the short-
tempered man off of the floor. No matter how many liberties Aya let
Yohji have with his personage ever since their relationship had
started, the younger Weiß had quickly learned that it wasn't extended
to them. Aya might bite their heads off a little less, talk to them
a little more, but still didn't appreciate anyone but the older blond
touching or being affectionate with him. Well, Omi could get away
with a little, certainly more than he could, but that still wasn't
saying much. "You need any help there?" That seemed a safe route to
take.

The dark purple eyes again opened to glare at him. There was a
slight shake back and forth of the red maned head, quickly arrested
with a hiss and eyes closing once more. Ken assumed that Aya was
having another of his headaches. Knowing that Aya couldn't quite
help being such a cold bastard, what with the pain and all, Ken
refused to let the refusal get to him. Instead he reached into the
medicine cabinet, pulling out two of the bottles he found there. Next
came filling up a paper cup of water, and the brunet then knelt in
front of the hurting man. "Here, why don't you take these."

Aya stared at the medication for a moment, then held out a shaking
hand for them to be deposited onto. Ken shook out one pill each from
the bottles. He then handed over the water, half of which ended up
spilled on the baggy sweatshirt Aya was wearing. Once the pills were
swallowed he waited another couple of minutes, eyes never leaving the
redhead's face. There was no lessoning of the lines of pain and
stress, but after a while the eyelids drifted back open. For a
moment the two men just stared at each other, Ken feeling more and
more uncomfortable. Why did this have to happen to him? Yohji was
the man's lover, he would have had Aya off the floor and tucked into
bed in seconds, and Omi as the resident surgeon would have fussed and
nagged and flitted about until the result was the same. But he'd
never gotten along the greatest with the quiet man, not after the way
they had met. Now here he was, uncomfortable as all hell and mostly
naked, wondering what to do next.

As if reading his thoughts, Aya settled the matter for him. The
redhead slowly forced his body upright, one arm clutching at his
stomach, the other the wall for support. When it looked as if he was
going to fall back down Ken snaked out a hand and grabbed a shoulder,
keeping Aya on his feet. Once more treated to a grunt, Aya flashed
those eyes in his direction, face set in a scowl, and then slowly
walked away without a words. Surprised to not have been yelled at
for his presumption, the soccer fanatic shook his head, a smile
teasing at his mouth. It was shaping out to be a weird day, most
definitely. He went to his bedroom to get ready for work, then had
some breakfast.

Upon entering the Koneko he found out just how accurate that
prediction was turning out to be. Omi was red-faced and flustered,
tossing water reservoirs at a choking Yohji. Who seemed to be
laughing way too hard to breathe. For a second he wondered if he'd
entered a parallel universe, like on one of those American shows he'd
seen. Omi was never this unprofessional while in the shop. "Uhm,
everything all right here?"

Two pairs of eyes flashed over to him, and as impossible as it seemed
the youth flushed even redder. Yohji actually fell onto the floor,
clutching his sides as he sputtered out something about `not
forgetting about the butter trick'. At least that was what Ken
thought the man had said. "Not to interrupt anything, Kudoh, but do
you know your boyfriend was upstairs puking his guts out about twenty
minutes ago?" The change was instantaneous, the older blond one
moment on the floor and the next speeding up the stairs, face wiped
of all traces of humor. Ken gazed quizzically at Omi.

Who for some reason seemed too embarrassed to meet his eyes. "Ayan
had another of his migraines last night. Yohji and I had to get
things ready this morning."

"Ah hell, Omi, and you were so looking forward to sleeping in." Ken
frowned a little, staring at the circles under his friend's eyes. Of
course Kudoh had dragged Omi out of bed, probably hadn't thought
anything of it. It wasn't as if Aya was faking the illness, but if
the redhead could open the shop all by himself, why the hell couldn't
his lazy boyfriend? "I'm here now, if you want to go lie down for a
couple of hours. Your shift doesn't start until two."

The boy smiled at him sunnily. "That's okay, I'm wide awake now.
Had too much of Yohji's special coffee." The blue eyes sparkled at
him for a moment, then glanced away nervously. Omi set about
cleaning up the mess he made, and to wait on a customer. When that
was finished he drifted back over to the athlete and asked a
question. "So, Ken-kun, you have any plans for the night?"

"Yeah, there is a game down at the sport's bar that I told a couple
of guys I would come and watch after I'm done with my kids." The
brunet stared on in amazement at the crestfallen expression that
crossed over Omi's face for a fleeting second. There was no way he
could have imagined that, not the way his chest was aching at the
thought of causing his friend any pain. Before he could say anything
Yohji came back into the shop.

"Aya's conked out again, the medication must have taken quick."
Yohji gazed longingly up at the ceiling for a moment, it was plain to
see that he wished to have stayed upstairs with his lover instead of
coming down to the Koneko. "I hope he's better in a little bit." He
then proceeded to the front door, lighting a cigarette as he
broodingly watched traffic pass by on the street. When a young woman
came to the entrance way he tossed away the stick and held the door
open with a bow. The woman giggled, flipping back her hair and
smiling flirtatiously. Yohji happily made sure that she bought a
huge bouquet of flowers before she left.

Tucking away the roll of tissue paper that he had wrapped the flowers
in, he found Ken staring at him angrily. "Something wrong, Hidaka?"

"Why did you wake Omi up this morning? You should have just handled
the shop yourself, or woke me instead. It's his summer vacation, the
last thing the boy needs is you making him work because of your own
stupidity."

Suddenly pissed at what the other man was implying, Yohji stood up
straight and looked down his nose at Ken. "And what the hell does
that mean? We had some special orders, there was no way you or I
were going to be able to assemble them, and I sure as hell wasn't
going to disturb Aya. Omi at least isn't throwing up." He turned to
go have another smoke, his nerves needing it, when Ken stepped into
his way. "What the hell do you want now?"

"Bet you didn't even try to do the arrangements, it was just easier
to dump the orders on Omi. And maybe if you weren't picking fights
with your boyfriend so much, he would be feeling well enough to be
down here right now. Can't you think of others at least once in your
life, Kudoh?"

Feeling his hands clench into fists, the blond stopped himself from
punching his coworker just in time. Oh no, he wasn't about to get
into this right here. So Ken was miffed at him, probably more for
Omi's sake than anyone else's. But there was no reason for him to
stand here and take it. "I wasn't supposed to be down here either
until this afternoon, Hidaka. If I really hadn't given a shit I
would have just gone back to bed or woken your ass up. But I didn't,
so quit your bitching."

"As for what's going on between me and Aya, you don't have a fucking
clue. So be smart and mind your business." When the athlete looked
as if he was going to say something else, Yohji jerked him
close. "Maybe I should have woken you up first, but you aren't any
better than me with the orders. Omi doesn't appear bothered that I
got him out of bed, so back off. And keep in mind that you have no
reason for this protective bullshit. Oh yes, that's what it is, and
I of all people should know" he said to a stunned Ken. "You're all
over me like I would be to you if it you did something like this to
Aya. But guess what, he's my boyfriend, and Omi is not yours. By
your own stupid decision. So down with the hackles before I kick
your ass, and start doing some thinking about just what the chibi
really means to you." Feeling a bit better for finally getting some
sense into Hidaka's thick head, Yohji let go of the younger man and
walked away.

All Ken could do was stare after the blond, thinking of what he had
just said.

*******

Collapsing on the bed, Aya curled up and continued to take deep
breaths, refusing to throw up again. Firstly, he didn't have the
energy to make it back to the bathroom, secondly there was nothing
left in his stomach to bring back up. Clutching at his head, the
pale man wondered how much of the pain was from the whiskey and how
much a migraine. What the hell had he been thinking last night?
Besides that he was going crazy. Whatever it was he didn't deserve
to have woken up to so much pain and nausea.

At first he had been confused to find himself tucked into bed when
his last hazy memory had involved Kudoh holding him close while they
sat on the couch. Then all that had mattered was getting out of the
bed and to the bathroom before he made a mess. While purging himself
of what felt like everything he'd eaten the past week, Aya had
recalled a bit more of the previous evening. Waking from a
disturbing dream in pain, the awful emotions and images that had torn
at him. Yohji finding him on the couch and offering comfort and
assurances. It seemed like a dream, but he knew that it had actually
happened that way. What he didn't understand was why.

Now he was feeling sleepy again, heavy lids drifting shut as the
medication Ken had given him started to do its job. Dammit, he hated
how weak and helpless these attacks left him. This one had to have
been particularly bad, judging from the pain he felt and the worried
expression on Hidaka's face. Guess he must look really awful for the
brunet to be that afraid for him. For a moment he had another image
of Ken flash through his mind, this time the younger man's face
filled with a look of insane bliss. There was a brief flash of hurt
through his head, and then unconsciousness.

When Aya woke an hour later he was aware of having dreamed of a hotel
room, and the feeling of cold that pervaded his body. For a moment
he thought that it was the previous night all over again, until he
realized that it was too light in the room and that Yohji was gone.
He felt a wave of despair wash through him before concentrating on
the pain in his head to ground him. At least the headache had died
down to a more bearable level, feeling as if he'd banged his head
against a brick wall for a couple of hours as opposed to a dozen or
more steel spikes being driven into it. A major improvement. Upon
crawling out of bed he realized that the nausea however had not much
abated. Win some, lose some. Removing his robe from the closet, he
staggered down the hallway for the bathroom, intent on a hot shower.
Maybe that would help to clear his head a little, and to rid him of
the stench of vomit.

The shower was the highpoint of the morning, hot and steamy and
long. Aya could feel some of his tension melt away, though he was
forced to spend most of the time under the water leaning against a
wall, still weak and dizzy. A little voice inside of his head called
him all types of a fool and ordered that he get back in bed, but that
was the last place he wanted to be right now. No more dreams. And
definitely no more visions of him in a strange bed with a faceless
person. Pain and nausea he was used to, they were much easier to
deal with than images and emotions that threatened to drive him mad.

Once the water started to cool down he reluctantly left the stall,
stepping out into a bathroom so filled with steam it was hard to
breath. Aya didn't have the energy for anything other than a quick
pat down, the yukata soaked up the water that still clung to him.
Back in the bedroom he pulled on some silk boxers and a pair of grey
cotton pants that he normally wore for practicing his katas. Which
he had been neglecting to do so lately, what with the vacation and
the missions, and now this. It wouldn't do to get out of shape and
make a mistake one night, to let his guard down. As soon as he could
hold his blade steadily in his hands he would be upstairs, of that
there was no doubt in his mind. He could really use the peace of
mind his practice sessions imparted to him.

Next came the orange sweater that his sister had given him. It had
been her favorite color, and one that looked good on her, what with
the dark hair and blue eyes. Aya could care less that it clashed
with his own hair, what mattered was each time he put it on he could
hear the girl's laughter. Could feel her presence for a precious
second or two. As a finishing touch he wrapped one of Yohji's
cashmere scarves around his neck, still feeling cold. Catching a
brief glimpse of himself in the mirror, the pale man had to admit
that he looked like a fashion disaster. But he felt the slightest
bit warmed, so to hell with his appearance. Before he left the room
he made sure to grab his shades, needing some protection from the
light that made his eyes and head ache even more.

Cautiously making his way downstairs, holding on to the railing so he
didn't tumble down the steps, Aya made his way to the Koneko. He had
some difficulty while walking through the kitchen, gagging at the
smell of coffee and food. His stomach heaved in rebellion, and once
more the little voice told him to get back in bed, phantom fingers
combing through his hair. The sensation made him shiver, an echo of
last night that had him focusing on the pain in his head as a
distraction. It made his resolve to spend the day in the flower shop
even stronger. There was no way he was going back to bed right now.

Aya had to pause on the steps leading to the shop, the world spinning
around him. Upon entering the Koneko he came across a very stunned
Omi, who could only gape at him as he shakily made his way to his
worktable. "Aya-kun, are you sure you should be down here?"

"Hn." He sat down and was unable to control the impulse to rest his
head on the hard surface. In a few minutes he'd start working, right
now it had taken too much effort to just get there.

"Uh, Aya, you really don't look very well. Why don't you go back
upstairs and lie down some more?" Great, now Tsukiyono was in league
with the voice inside of his head. Traitors all around. Pansy
colored eyes glared at the boy as dark thoughts filled Aya's mind.
Unfortunately the effort was mostly wasted, as Omi kept staring
nervously at the door for some reason. So he rested his head back
down on his arms. And resumed breathing through his mouth, stomach
once more unsettled by the various scents assailing him.

Omi was filled with dread at the thought of the Kritiker agent Aster
walking into the shop. It wouldn't be good for the man to see Aya
like this, especially not if he was due for a physical. It would
start the organization to wonder why the redhead was so pale and
ill. Glancing about for Yohji, the teenager found the older blond
busy flirting with two young women. He hurried over to the other
side of the shop.

"No no, I really think you are more of the pink rose type. So soft
and delicate and feminine, don't you agree?" Omi bit back on a gag,
unable to believe that Yohji spent the day spouting lines like this
to women who actually seemed to drink it up. "Wouldn't you say so,
Omi?"

"We have some lovely pink roses, several varieties. Why don't I show
them to you ladies." The young women frowned at him, clearly wanting
Yohji to help them instead. For the playboy's part his eyebrows rose
above his sunglasses as he looked questioningly at the young
assassin. "Yotan, why don't you go assist _Aya_, he's in the back."
As soon as he said the redhead's name Yohji whipped his head around,
looking for his boyfriend. And started frowning as soon as he
spotted him.

"Great idea there, chibi," Yohji gritted out. "Ladies, if you will
excuse me, have to go help a colleague." Help carry the man's ass
back upstairs ASAP. He'd ask what the hell Aya had been thinking,
coming downstairs like that, but knew that it wouldn't be worth the
effort. It never was, trying to figure out the stubborn idiot's
thoughts.

Stopping in front of the worktable he leaned a hip against it,
slightly bumping the station. Aya quickly raised his head, letting
out a hiss of pain. "Why aren't you in bed?"

"Not you too, Kudoh," Aya mumbled, settling his sunglasses more
firmly on his face.

Yohji took in the pale face, drawn in pain, the slender form shaking,
the way his lover was breathing through his mouth. "You do realize
that you'd feel a hell of a lot better if you just slept for the day,
don't you? So get your ass back to bed. I'm not about to let you be
sick down here."

He realized that he could have phrased that better as soon as he saw
Aya straighten up, arms crossing over his chest and crimson brows
drawing down into a V. "I'm fine." Great, now it was down to a
battle over who had the more stubborn nature, Aya's mulishness raised
by the over-protective comment.

So what his choices came to was either let the masochist work until
he was so sick he passed out, and maybe make himself even more ill,
have a screaming fight and drag him out, or play dirty. Yohji went
for the last one. "Well then, can't work on an empty stomach, can
you? Let me get you a bite to eat." As soon as he mentioned food
Aya's skin took on a green tinge. The smaller man tried to shake his
head, but the motion caused him too much pain. Between the headache,
the medicine, and the hangover, Yohji knew that the last thing Aya
wanted to think about was eating. "I believe there is some leftover
pizza upstairs, with lots of greasy pepperoni and sausage. Or I can
run out and get you something, maybe a sandwich, or some hamburgers.
With all the toppings. What about those pork dumplings down the
street, I'll even have a few with you-"

"Kudoh…."

"- or would you like something simpler? Maybe some sashimi, could
get some sawara or eel or salmon, maybe sea urchin but that always
reminds me of uncooked brains, so squishy and that-"

Biting back on a grin, Yohji watched as Aya scrambled for the
washroom. The sick man almost collided into Ken and a customer in
his haste to reach the room in time. The blond followed at a more
leisurely pace.

"What that Aya? Why is he out of bed?"

"Yes that was and he'll be right back up there in a few minutes,
trust me on it. You guys hold down the fort, I'll be back in a
little bit." Ken nodded his head and resumed making a simple wheat
wreath for his customer, while Yohji went to check up on Aya. The
swordsman was leaning over the sink, trying to throw up an empty
stomach. He reached out to brush back the long bangs and an eartail,
then kneaded his lover's shoulders until the heaving stop. Dark
violet eyes met green in the mirror. "I hate you."

"I know, I know." Yohji held Aya for a moment, then herded him out
of the washroom. The smaller man growled in protest, trying to
return back to his table, but was soon gagging again as he took in a
deep breath of all the flowers' scents. After that he didn't put up
any more fight until they were up the one set of stairs and about to
start up the second.

Aya twisted out of the older man's hold and sat down on the steps
leading to the bedrooms. "I'm not going to bed."

"Dammit Aya, enough already. You've been sick how many times today,
I've seen corpses with more color to them than you, and you can
barely stand. Now shut up and cooperate for once."

"No."

About to argue some more, Yohji thought about the odd note in his
lover's voice as he had refused. It sounded suspiciously like
panic. "Tell me why then."

Resting his head against the railing, Aya closed his eyes and tried
to put his feelings into words. "I don't want any more dreams,
Yohji. I lie down, and it feels as if I am somewhere else. With…. I
don't know, and I don't want to think about that anymore. And when
I'm in bed, I do." He knew he wasn't making any sense. But the
redhead didn't think he could take waking up in their bed, wishing it
was another one that he was in, feeling as if his reality was nothing
more than a dream and the vague impressions that he remembered upon
awaking were true. Right now it was too much to take, lying up there
by himself, letting those dreams get ahold of him again.

For a minute there was silence, and then he found himself being
yanked upright. "Kudoh," the redhead hissed out before realizing
that he wasn't being dragged up the steps, but to the living room
instead. Next he found himself deposited on the recliner and sternly
told to stay there. Yohji left, only to return a couple of minutes
later with the comforter from their bed. "You're not getting out of
this chair for the rest of the day, do you understand me? I catch so
much as a single toe of yours touching the floor and your ass is
going to match your hair. And I won't even enjoy beating it. Well,
maybe not too much." The older man smiled at Aya as the down
comforter was tucked around him. "But there are other things I'd
rather be doing to it."

Yohji leered at the smaller man, lips curving into a wider smile as
Aya merely sighed and snuggled under the blanket. "You want any
water or tea or something? Really need to get some fluids in you."
When Aya grunted and closed his eyes, Yohji left for the kitchen. He
helped himself to a sandwich while waiting for the water to boil, and
when the tea was ready poured some honey in it. The blond also
grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and carried the drinks out
on one of Omi's trays. All he found of the other man was a tuft of
crimson sticking out from the comforter. "You still awake under
there, love?" He asked softly.

"Mmph."

"Want something to drink?"

A pale hand appeared, held open expectantly. Yohji set the mug of
tea in it, watching as Aya emerged from his cocoon. Long fingers
brushed back the ragged bangs and pulled off the grey shades. "How's
the head feeling?"

"Like Ken used it for soccer practice." Aya took a tentative sip,
waiting for a reaction of some sort, then another. "You should get
back to the shop."

"In a minute." Yohji sat on the chair's arm, combing through his
lover's hair. "You had me worried last night, you know. Next time
the dreams get that bad, wake me up." He didn't want Aya to ever
repeat what he'd done the night before, mixing the pills with
alcohol. If he thought for a moment the redhead had been trying to
kill himself he'd have never left him alone, but Yohji also knew that
sometimes, when the nightmares had you hurting that bad, one never
stopped to think about the consequences of things. Like maybe what a
handful of pills and a bottle of whiskey could really do to a body,
besides easing the pain. "Okay?"

"Hn."

"Ay~a. Promise me."

The smaller man waited til he finished his tea before agreeing.
Yohji took the mug away, filled it up again and placed it back in
Aya's hand before kissing him on the nose. And received a frown for
his thanks. "Keep in mind, kitten, that I can be just as stubborn as
you. You want anything else before I go back to work?"

Aya gingerly shook his head. As Yohji stood up he was asked a
question. "What time are you meeting Tamema tonight?"

Turning around, the blond ran a hand through his hair, pulling out
the gumband and then massaged his scalp. "I'm to meet him around
nine, but was about to cancel and just stay home."

Closing his eyes, Aya thought about a night spent suffering his
overprotective boyfriend's attention. "Go."

"You sure?" The pale man grunted his assent. "Cause it's no problem
to stick around here. Though I need to get a new bottle of Jameson's
now."

"Kudoh, _go_."

Yohji gathered an eartail between his fingers and flicked it over a
delicate cheekbone. "Well, if you're sure, love. I was sorta
looking forward to giving this new club a try." He knew that there
was no way Aya would even consider going with him to the place until
it had been open for a few months. One opening night had convinced
the redhead of that. "I promise to behave and keep my hands to
myself, and not flirt with anyone. I'll be real good. Masato,
however, is another story. I know he's been lusting after me. Maybe
I better take the cactus with me to fend him off." After getting a
slight smile from Aya and his hand batted away, the blond finally
returned back to work.

*******

Schuldig sat in a dark corner of the café, eyes locked on the
unassuming Japanese man seated at an outside table. Exercising his
talent with care, he kept the agent from entering the flowershop
until Balinese came back to work. Then he leaned back in his chair
as Aster paid his bill and went to buy some flowers. The telepath
knew that Bombay would wait on the man, careful not to give any
impression that Abyssinian was anywhere other than the back of the
shop, certainly not curled up above the shop, suffering from
a `migraine'. Kritiker would get a report that all was well with the
assassins, never the wiser that one of their top undercover agents
had been `made'. And he could now take it easy for the next few
hours. It had been a long day.

Sipping from his coffee cup, Schuldig let his mind wander past the
shields that he had set in place very early that morning. His
tuberose was still in pain, but there wasn't much he could do other
than block the awareness of it from his end. Once he had time to
study and play with their link some more he could most likely relieve
the majority of that pain in the future, but knew that things were
too delicate to mess with at the moment. The old witch had been
right, Aya was teetering on the edge, and his actions last night
hadn't helped any. For once he had to be grateful for the man-whore,
being there to reassure the poor kitty, and then again this
afternoon, protecting Aya from his own obdurate nature.

But he wouldn't have to suffer being forced to sit back and watch for
much longer. Not after last night's dream. Aya was finally his.
There was no way the two of them could be ever separated now, things
had progressed much too far for that. All the German had to do was
wait. Schreient were just now hearing about a rumor regarding a
certain assassin's sibling, about her location in a Tokyo hospital.
In another couple of days they would make their move, once assured
that it wasn't a trap. After that it wouldn't be long until Weiß
crossed paths with them once again, and this time Balinese would be
confronted with the fact that his long dead love was not quite so
gone. For a moment Schuldig wondered if the asshole had ever told
his precious the whole truth about the blond's run-in with Neu
several months ago. All it took was a simple thought and he knew
that it wasn't the case, Balinese had kept the fact that he'd slept
with the woman strictly to himself, or at least hadn't told his
lover. Oh how much fun was that going to be, to fill Aya in on the
truth.

Waiting until Aster was on his way home and the assassins occupied
with a rush of customers, the telepath cautiously made his way over
to the Koneko, going around back and picking the door's lock. Once
inside he stealthily made his way to the living room where a sleeping
swordsman rested. Leaning over the still form, Schuldig stroked the
pale face. When Aya started to drift awake at the touch he soothed
the younger redhead, the slightest wisp of his power sending the man
back to sleep. "Shh, it will be alright. Stop fussing so. I give
you my word, it will all be right in the end." Ever so delicately he
pushed back certain memories, not liking the strain they were taking
on his heart's psyche. It was so strange, to feel this much concern
and affection for someone else, but despite his cavalier attitude to
Cassandra he was reluctant to cause any more harm. Aya was his now,
he'd gotten what he wanted and would brook nothing harming the
man. "Soon the dreams will be real, there's no need to remember them
now." He bent forward to kiss the man's mouth, tugging on a white
chin until Aya's lips parted, allowing him inside for a taste. Aya
sleepily kissed him back. After a few leisurely minutes he pulled
away, a content smile on his face. "Soon."

But for the present he had many things to see to, making sure that
his little puppet was prepared, that Brad and Nagi didn't find out
any more than they should, and in the immediate future that a couple
of businessmen who wouldn't live for much longer. Time to pick up
Farfie and have some fun. "Sweet dreams, precious."

*******

Yohji stopped by the living room before leaving for the night,
checking in with Aya one more time. "So what do you think, love?"
He held his arms out to the side, spinning around slowly so as to let
the redhead get the full effect. Here's hoping he didn't make the
man have a relapse, overloaded with his innate sexiness.

"And somehow no one has ever mistaken you for a prostitute?"

He blew a raspberry at the smaller man. "I've said it before, Aya.
You have no sense of adventure nor style." Yohji thought he looked
pretty damn hot; new black leather pants that had red stitching all
over them, a black velvet crop top with a red sheen to it, depending
on the light and his movement. A gold choker with a cross dangling
from it, his hair pulled back and shades completed the
outfit. "Figured you would love it, what with all the black and
that."

Aya had to admit that the blond did look good in black, the touch of
red adding relief to the dark clothes. Of course Yohji had to buy
things, though, that looked as if they were a size too small. "So
now only depressed people will solicit you."

Sighing, Yohji walked over to the chair and straddled Aya's lap,
sinking down until he rested on top of the smaller man's legs. He
then tilted the redhead's face up until it was centimeters from
his. "Good thing Masato will be there to beat them off then, ne?
Since you and the cactus are staying home." At Aya's scowl he
bridged the gap and kissed his lover, pushing with his tongue until
the man's lips parted for him. It seemed that a couple of naps had
done wonders for the pale man's headache, and he actually looked a
little better. But there were still lines of pain on the beautiful
face, and Aya refused any and all food.

Not that one could tell that the redhead wasn't feeling perfectly
fine, what with the way he was kissing Yohji back. The older man
growled and shifted about, seeking a better angle to delve the sweet
mouth. Aya moaned and moved his head back, panting a
little. "Kudoh, you need to get going." One of the man's hands
lifted to trace over his lips as heavy lidded eyes gazed into his.

"I'm suddenly not very interested in going to some club. How `bout I
stay home and make you forget all about that headache?" Aya just
shook his head, wanting the blond to stay near but knowing he didn't
feel up to what the man had in mind. From the way Yohji started to
shift off of him, his boyfriend was aware of this as well.

"Maybe later, then. You stay home and rest, and we can pick up where
we left off. Want me to give Masato any messages?"

Aya shook his head again, and when a hand stroked his cheek pressed
it close. He bit his lip, not knowing what to say, unwilling to seem
doubtful over the playboy's fidelity. Damn the dreams for shaking
him up like this.

Once more Yohji seemed to read his mind. "I'll be good, I promise.
Just going to check the place out, have a few beers with a friend.
Will most likely be back at some ungodly hour, like midnight or so."
He leaned in for another kiss, this one a bit briefer, before leaving.

On his way to the garage the blond stopped for a word with Omi. The
teenager was in the kitchen, preparing a pot of tea. "Keep an eye on
him, okay? If Masato didn't sound like he needed a night out so bad,
I would just say to hell with it and stick around."

"And drive poor Aya crazy within an hour, most likely. He hates it
when you fuss over him." Of course Omi refused to believe that the
standoffish man hated it when anyone else fussed over him. "We'll be
fine, why don't you go or you'll be late." Looking back in the
direction of the living room one more time, Yohji finally did so. As
he waved goodbye to the teenager he reflected for a moment on just
how stupid Hidaka was, to leave the chibi at home like this. If he
wasn't careful Omi just might give up on him before he finally
acknowledged how he felt. "Don't do anything too crazy, I don't want
to cut my night short to have to bail you and Aya out of jail."

"As if, Yotan! We'll be bailing you out, if we feel like it!" Omi
shouted at the departing figure, laughter bubbling in his throat. So
what if Ken was out with some stupid friends watching some stupid
sport. Or that Yohji was most likely going to get plastered. Him
and Aya could have some fun on their own.

Setting the tea on a tray, he assembled a plate of various cookies
and crackers, hoping to have something to tempt the sick man. It
wasn't good for him to not eat all day, Omi wasn't going to let Aya
get any thinner. All set, he walked into the living room, once again
puzzling why his friend was curled up there instead of his and
Yohji's bedroom. When he'd asked the older blond about it he hadn't
gotten any answer other than `bad dreams'. Which didn't make much
sense, but he knew better than to push. "Ayan, I have some fresh tea
for you. And some cookies as well. Won't you try something?"

Sighing at the image of Omi fussing over him all night long, just
when he'd gotten rid of Yohji, Aya picked up the teacup and an almond
cookie as well. Blue eyes remained fixed on him as he cautiously
nibbled on the treat, waiting to see if his stomach would rebel.
Seemed the damn thing was finally willing to behave, so he ate
another one as well. He nodded his thanks to the boy, expecting Omi
to leave the tray and head up to his room.

So it came as a bit of a surprise when the boy arranged a plate of
treats for himself and sat down on the couch with that and a mug of
tea. For some reason Aya had a very bad feeling about things. Just
as he was wondering if maybe it wouldn't be so awful waiting for
Yohji to come home up in his own room, Omi smiled at him. The
premonition increased.

"How is your sister, Aya-kun?"

"….fine."

"And work? I mean in the Koneko. Do you think we should order more
of those ivy topiaries? They've been selling, but they do take a lot
of time and work. Maybe it would be better to stock up on something
else."

"No, they're not a problem."

"What about the rest of the inventory? Should we start shifting
things towards the fall yet, or give it a few more weeks?"

"It would be good to get a head start this year." Aya fidgeted with
his teacup, very uncomfortable with the small talk. It wasn't like
Omi to babble on like this.

"Any plans for you and Yohji to go away again? I thought I heard him
mention something about hoping to make your weekends together a
monthly thing."

"Hn." That was it, he suddenly didn't feel so uneasy about his
bedroom. In fact it might be a very good idea to go there and lie
down, remain blissfully unconscious until Kudoh returned. "Good
night."

"Wait, Aya!" Omi quickly set his treats down, jumping up from the
couch and rushing over to Aya's chair, trying to prevent the older
man from leaving. The redhead shifted away from his touch, sinking
back down into the chair. Omi took up guard by sitting on the coffee
table, blocking off his friend's escape. "I was hoping that we could
have a nice little chat. We hardly ever talk to each other anymore."

Aya refrained from pointing out that he'd hardly ever talked to the
boy in the first place. "What do you want to discuss?" Please oh
please let it be about the shop, he thought anxiously.

"Uhm." The teenager glanced away for a moment, face breaking out in
a blush. "Well, ah, I was hoping to talk about you and Yohji. And
relationships in general."

For a moment Aya tried to decide if he could outrace Omi to his
bedroom, but wasn't sure he could make it up the steps in a hurry
without falling flat on his face. "Huhn."

Somehow reassured about the comment, the young blond leaned over to
refill Aya's teacup, then snagged a cookie to munch on. "Yeah, I
wanted to ask a few questions, if you don't mind. See what you have
to think about something."

"Talk to Kudoh." Oh no, he thought he knew where this was going.
Damn the playboy for leaving him home alone to deal with this.

Blue eyes blinked at how fast the words had come out. "But I have
already. And his suggestions aren't working at all. I mean, I get
Ken's attention, but he never follows through with anything." Omi
stopped for a moment and considered something. "You do know that I
like Ken, don't you?"

_Everyone_ in the young men's immediate vicinity knew that they liked
each other. Not trusting his voice, the redhead just nodded.

"Okay then, so what do you think I should do? What did you do to get
Yohji's attention, if you don't mind me asking."

Rubbing his temples, Aya spat out one word. "Nothing."

"Nothing?" Omi didn't look as if he believed it. "Nothing at all?
Didn't you try any little tricks or anything, like touching him or
nibbling on your lips?" Aya shook his head. "But weren't you
interested in him? I can't see you being with him unless you wanted
to, so how did you let Yohji know you liked him back?"

Hell, he had no clue how he had let Kudoh know he'd wanted him in the
first place. "I didn't."

"But- but how did he know to try anything with you?"

"Tsukiyono…. this is _Kudoh_ you're talking about."

The youth's mouth opened and closed a few times. This wasn't going
how he'd imagined it to at all. Surely Aya of all people hadn't
simply been swept off his feet. That just didn't seem
possible. "You're telling me he just pounced on you? And you didn't
do anything but let him? Not even play hard to get? You just gave
in?"

No wonder he was going crazy. The strange feelings he couldn't
shake, Kritiker picking at his brain again, Schu up to what he didn't
have the slightest clue, the dreams. And on top of it all, Tsukiyono
was pretty much saying he was easy. Highly ironic, considering how
the boy had been throwing himself at Hidaka the past two weeks.
Dammit, he'd like to see the boy stand up to someone like Yohji, hell
bent on getting what he wanted. "I didn't kill him. Maybe that was
how he knew."

Omi thought that the swordsman had a point there. "All right then,
let's try a different track here. How do you suggest I go about
seducing Ken?" He felt the blush creep back over his cheeks. On the
other hand, however, his companion was appearing even paler. "Is
your head hurting again, Aya-kun? Want me to get you some more
medicine?"

No, what the redhead wanted was this conversation to be over
with. "I don't have a clue, Omi."

"But, surely you have to have some idea or another. Don't tell me
that all those times Yohji drags you off to the greenhouse it really
is his idea?" He quickly shut up when Aya growled at him. "Ah, I
mean you have to do something to let the man know that you, erm,
are `in the mood'. Don't you?"

"I breathe." Aya thought that summed his and Kudoh's sexual
relationship up rather well, and once again made to get out of the
chair. Only to stop at the sight of huge chibi eyes, looking at him
pleadingly. Gods, he hated it when Omi looked at him like that. At
the moment he very strongly believed that the boy was by far the most
evilest of all the Takatoris. He settled back down and pulled the
comforter up to his chin. "But that's Yohji for you. What did the
lech suggest you do?"

Not quite sure if he should repeat the advice, Omi haltingly did so.
And got the very strong impression that Yohji was in for a surprise
the next time he tried a few of his moves on his short-tempered
lover, judging from the way the dark purple eyes narrowed. Aya
thought over the advice for a moment or two. "You have to remember
that Hidaka is nothing at all like Kudoh. He actually thinks of
something other than sex all the time."

Yes, to Omi's great frustration. Not that all he wanted from the
brunet was sex, but it would sure as hell make him feel a lot better,
and give him an idea where he stood with the idiot. As something
more than just friends. "So how do I get him to think about sex and
me at the same time?"

"The problem seems to be that he already does, just won't do anything
about it. That's what you need to work on."

"I _know_ that. But how?"

What Aya really wanted to know was why the hell the boy was bothering
him with this. Just about anyone else out there had to be better at
figuring romance out than him. "Get him drunk. Make him jealous.
Ignore him." Advice dispensed, he yanked the cover up over his head,
determined to escape into oblivion.

However it was very hard to fall asleep when he could feel a pair of
blue eyes still staring at him. Trying hard to ignore them, he heard
Omi's plaintive voice. "I'm sorry, Aya, but there were a couple more
questions that I wanted to ask you. If your head isn't bothering
you." Deciding that he wanted to just get this conversation over
with, Aya sighed and lowered the comforter.

Taking that as a yes, Omi continued. "It's well, about what I do
when I finally do get Ken to return my affections. The stuff that
Yohji gave me wasn't very helpful with certain details."
Concentrating on getting the question out, he failed to notice when
the older man groaned, as if in pain. "Does it really hurt like they
say? I mean, why do it if it does? Sex I mean. At least I hear it
hurts if you are, uhm, the uke. Does it?"

For a moment Aya didn't know who he hated more, Kudoh or Hidaka.
Both of them were idiots, for having started this mess and leaving
him stuck with it. "Ask Yohji to explain it to you."

"But, he isn't the one, I mean, aren't you…" Omi's voice trailed off
at the glare he was receiving. "Ah, never mind."

Sighing, Aya shook his head. Firmly convinced that he had finally
gone over the edge, he set about answering Omi's question in as much
as a monotone voice he could manage. All the while thinking of what
he was going to do to the other two members of Weiß when he next saw
them.

*******

Yohji tossed back the shot of a tequila and smiled blissfully. "Ah,
that was just perfect." Masato nodded his head and waved the
bartender over for another round.

"So I told you about my week from hell, what has you pounding back
the liquor? A certain redhead, perchance?"

Looking over at his friend, Yohji waited until the drink arrived and
was dispatched before answering. "Sort of. It's not really his
fault though. I left Aya at home, hurting from a bad headache.
Which he most likely wouldn't be suffering if a damn organization and
an asshole German would just leave us the hell alone." At the
scruffy man's curious glance he shrugged his shoulders. "I don't
like how our employers are treating him. As if he was some little
robot for them to play with. And I want the Bastard dead as soon as
I can lay my hands on him."

"Huh. Can't help much with the latter, other than keep my ears open
and pass on anything I hear about him." Yohji smiled thankfully at
the offer, there wasn't much that Rook couldn't find out through his
network of contacts and friends. "But I think I understand a little
about the first. They always were a bit strange towards your boy.
I'd like to know why." When the blond didn't answer him Masato just
leaned back against the bar. He didn't blame the man for keeping
quiet, though they had become fast friends there was still a lot they
didn't know about each other. Rook had his own suspicions of why
Kritiker guarded Aya so diligently, and wasn't about to voice them in
a crowded club of all places.

So he changed the topic. "What do you think of the place?"

Green eyes scanned the club, packed with the prettiest and richest
that Tokyo had to offer. "Nothing spectacular." It was much like
many other clubs that he had been in before, all black walls and neon
lights and scantily clad employees. Not that the last bit was at all
bad, he thought with a leer as a cocktail waitress in a skimpy halter
top walked past. Just nothing to make it stand out very much,
besides some very good deejays working the music. "Aya would have
killed me if I had dragged him here. Too crowded, too noisy, too
stuck up." If it wasn't for the fact that he knew the guy working
the door, a legacy of a couple of years spent doing some serious
clubbing, Tamema would never have gotten in due to the strict dress
code. Yohji had refrained from pointing out to the guy that though
rumpled and shaggy, it was the most well dressed he'd ever seen the
Crasher.

Masato blinked his eyes and reached into a back pocket. "Just
remembered something. Here." Yohji took the plastic covered photo,
having to squint in the dim light. He could just barely make out the
image of his lover, crimson hair longer than he'd ever seen it,
sporting a leather jacket covered with zippers and buckles, two of
them opened to reveal pale shoulders. "Oh gods yes, I _have_ to get
him to wear this thing for me. Thanks a lot."

"Always happy to feed a pal's kink." The scruffy man grinned as his
friend snorted and waved at the bartender once more. He was too damn
sober still, it really had been a very bad week or so, what with the
simple extortion case that Crasher's had been working on blowing up
in their faces. The assignment had been salvaged, but just barely.
Reminding himself that he was here to forget all about it, he
indicated they wanted another double of tequila. "So we've arrived
and are making headway in being completely trashed by the end of the
night, what's next on the agenda?"

"Dancing."

"Great, who leads, you or me?"

Yohji couldn't help but laugh at the comment. This was why he liked
the Crasher, Masato seemed to not take anything too seriously. It
was a welcome change from his brooding lover and the ridiculous
situations he found himself in lately. "We could always take turns,
or flip a coin. But don't tell me the reason you're ordering all
those shots is just so you can get me drunk and take advantage of
me. I'm not that easy."

Hazel eyes raked over the blond, taking in the outfit. "That's not
what I've heard. But if you insist on breaking my heart we can make
do with some of these pretty young ladies about us."

"Well I promised to behave, but don't see how a few dances will
hurt." Shots taken care of, the two men made their way to the dance
floor. Where it didn't take them long to find some willing
partners. For a moment Yohji thought back on his single days, how
he'd spend most of his nights in places like this, searching for a
willing body to leave with. While he much preferred being in a
relationship with Aya, even with all their problems and issues, it
was nice to dance away a couple of hours in the presence of a
beautiful woman. No commitments, no strings, just some fun. Granted
a lot less fun than he was used to, but it was enjoyable nonetheless.

He'd dance with a particular girl for a few songs after warning her
he wasn't available, then him and Masato would switch partners, or
drift away to find new ones. Particularly clingy dancers were left
behind as they went to get more drinks, never to return to the same
spot. Yohji knew why he was doing this, not wanting to lead the
women on, but he raised an eyebrow at the older man in query when
they were back at the bar. "I know I won't cheat on Aya tonight, but
there is no reason why you can't enjoy yourself. I'll back off if
you want some privacy." For a moment he wondered if they shouldn't
order something less potent, he was definitely feeling the effects of
all those shots. Everything was getting that faraway feel to it.

"Nah, really didn't come out tonight looking for a one-night stand,
just some drinks and good company."

About to tease his friend if this decision had anything to with
another member of Crashers, who was just back on the market after
realizing his crush for the past couple of years was never going to
want him back, Yohji jumped as a hand rubbed up and down his arm.
Turning around he found himself staring into a familiar pair of brown
eyes.

"Ah, Megumi, imagine running into you here." What he really wanted
to do was curse, but Yohji offered that greeting and a smile instead.

"I'm not surprised to find you here, Yohji. You always did like to
be among the first to check out a new club." Megumi was glad that
she had decided to go out with her girlfriends that evening. And
that she had worn her new green dress, the exact shade of the
florist's eyes. It was so low cut and tight that the man couldn't
help but let those eyes roam all over her body. Maybe, if he was
really nice to her, she would take him home for a little fun that
night, let him try to get her out of the dress. Not that he would
succeed, not completely, Yohji had to make up for neglecting her this
past week. "I thought you said you had plans."

The blond waved over to Masato. "I do, came here with a friend."
After introducing the two of them, and all of Megumi's friends as
well, Yohji found himself being tugged back to the dance floor. When
the girl's friends followed, bringing Masato with them, he decided
not to put up a fight. All he was planning on doing was some
dancing, if it looked as if Nakashima was expecting more he would
send Tamema a signal and they would be out of there.

Loud music ringing in his ears, packed on a crowded dance floor,
Yohji held Megumi close. Due to the press of bodies there was little
they could do beside rock back and forth against each other. For a
minute he closed his eyes and imagined that it was Aya that he was
holding. Long fingers trailed up and down his chest, a soft body
pressing close. Losing himself in the moment and the alcohol, the
playboy's eyes remained closed, his body moving on automatic. What
he wouldn't give to have Aya here with him, out on the floor. Any
excuse to have that pale body molded against his, all there for him
to enjoy. It failed to register on his drunken senses when his head
was pulled down. Nuzzling at the girl's ear, he briefly wondered why
he smelled some floral shampoo as opposed to cherry scented. Just as
he remembered that it was Nakashima and not his kitten that he was
dancing with, he felt the young woman's mouth on his neck, sucking
the salty skin.

It was too crowded to just push Megumi away, but he managed to get
her to step back a little after a minute of maneuvering his arms
between their bodies. Brown eyes stared at him in indignation, the
pretty face turning ugly with anger and frustration. "Sorry, I need
a drink." Yohji quickly fled to the sanctuary of the bar, only to
stop at the counter and to find out that the girl had followed him.

"What's going on, Kudoh? You've been blowing me off ever since I've
come back from Hong Kong. Before that you couldn't wait to spend
some time with me, now it's as if seeing me is some horrible thing,"
Megumi hissed, furious at the man. This wasn't how things were
supposed to be. Yohji was not supposed to be ignoring her, but
working hard to please her. Just like he always had before her
internship. She didn't love the man and didn't think he was
interested in anything more than getting her into bed, but at least
he had wanted her back then. Now there was nothing, it was like he
was bored with her. That wasn't how things were to turn out. She
was the one to do the rejecting. Her temper getting the better of
her, Megumi grabbed the shot glass the bartender placed down next to
the blond and tossed it in Yohji's face. "You can just go to hell, I
won't waste any more of your time. There are plenty of other men who
actually enjoy my presence." Turning around, she stalked away from
the bar, her girlfriends gathering around her back.

Cursing at the sting of alcohol in his eyes, Yohji heard his friend
chuckle and felt some napkins be placed in his hands. "Let me guess,
the infamous Kudoh charm at work."

"Glad you find this so funny. Damn, never thought I would run into
someone who would make Aya seem calm and rational. At least all he
does is punch me, much prefer that to wasting good tequila." Bleary
green eyes stared at the empty shot glass in disappointment. But it
wouldn't be a good idea to order another one now. "To hell with it,
I'm going home. You gonna stick around or what, Masato?"

"Nah, it's almost two o'clock. Think I'll call it a night, had more
than enough fun."

Checking his watch, Yohji let out a curse. Dammit, he'd lost
complete track of time, what with the dancing and drinking. He'd
told Aya he'd be home a couple of hours ago. "Gods, this really
isn't my night. Gotta get going." The blond waved goodbye to his
friend, mentioning in parting that they had to do this again sometime
soon. Masato responded back hopefully without the pissed-off woman.
A grin on his face, Yohji left the club.

He did a very good impression of his lover's driving on the way home,
getting there much sooner than usual. Once the car was parked Yohji
jumped out and rushed upstairs to his bedroom. Throwing open the
door, he found Aya curled up on his side of the bed, holding his
pillow close. Smiling at the image he turned on the bedside lamp and
ran a hand through the mussed crimson strands.

Aya came awake with a start, blinking dark purple eyes at him for a
few moments before realizing who he was. "Kudoh, you're late."

"I know, sorry about that. Lost track of time. How's the head,
feeling any better?"

The appendage in question nodded up and down. Aya sat up in bed,
then scooted over to the edge. Repeating his actions from earlier,
Yohji straddled the man's lap, tilting the pale face up for a kiss.
And instantly hissed as he was punched rather painfully in the
ribs. "What the hell was that for?"

The smaller man glared evilly at him for a few seconds. "Thanks to
you deciding to help Omi out with his romantic troubles, I got stuck
explaining the details of our `courtship' and the mechanics of gay
sex to the boy. He even," Aya said louder, as Yohji started to
laugh, "wanted to know what brand of lubricant we used, the exact
amount, and which positions were best. This went on for at least an
hour, Kudoh. You're going to pay for that." He'd come up with
something really good in another day or two. Of course the harder
his boyfriend laughed, the more his resolve for revenge firmed.

"Oh gods, I wish I was actually here for that one. The chibi, asking
_you_ for advice? Boy must be getting desperate." He chuckled a
little more before once more tilting the scowling face
upwards. "Guess I have to review your technique, make sure you
didn't give him any bad advice." The kiss lasted for several
minutes, both men groaning softly when it ended.

Aya watched as Yohji yanked off his top. "You taste like tequila.
And smell like it as well, along with some type of perfume." He knew
that he'd smelled that particular fragrance before, and was trying to
remember where. But was distracted as his sweatshirt was gripped and
pulled over his head. "Trust me, kitten, you don't want to know.
Should have taken the damn plant with me after all." Before Aya
could question the comment he found himself being kissed once again.

Pale hands drifted over a golden chest, skimming along the skin,
making their way up Yohji's neck. Where the sensitive fingers felt
something slick. Pulling back a little, Aya caught sight of
something red on his lover's neck, smeared lipstick all around a
darkening bruise. It didn't take him very long to figure out how it
had gotten there, the make-up or the hickey, and felt anger and hurt
boiling inside him as Yohji nibbled on his ear. Now he could place
the perfume. Nakashima always wore it when she came into the shop.

One moment tracing a delicate ear with his tongue, Yohji next found
himself being hit once more that night. This time it was a viscous
blow to his stomach, knocking both the air out of him and his body
onto the floor. Gasping in pain, he caught a quick glimpse of Aya's
face, livid with fury, as the smaller man darted off the bed, pausing
to snatch up his watch and the katana. "Come near me and I'll kill
you," was hissed out before his lover fled the room.

Yohji let out a groan as he rolled over onto his stomach, drawing up
his knees in an effort to stand to his feet. It took him a couple of
tries but finally he was able to do so. Cursing in pain and
surprise, the blond made his way to the bathroom, feeling as if he
was going to throw up. Once there he leaned over the sink, firmly
telling his stomach to behave. This was ridiculous, Aya was supposed
to be the sick one. And what the hell was that all about? One
moment he's being kissed back with a passion, and before he knows it
he's lying on the floor in agony, being issued death threats.
Glancing up in the mirror, he caught sight of his face, drawn in
pain. This was insane, Aya had finally lost it. And the minute he
felt like he could breath and wasn't in danger of vomiting, he'd tell
the man just that.

A smear of red caught his attention, standing out vibrantly on his
neck. Upon further investigation he noticed the love bite as well.
Suddenly Yohji remembered dancing with Megumi, her mouth on his neck
as he had drunkenly swayed in time to the music. Fuck. This was not
good. This was so not fucking good. No wonder Aya'd decked him, man
must be thinking he'd cheated on him tonight.

Well he most certainly hadn't, and he was going to set the record
straight _right now_. Nausea all forgotten, Yohji made his way down
the hall and up the steps to the exercise room, where he was more
than willing to bet that Aya was. And stopped on the third step.
Gods, what a fucking idiot he was. About to go confront his lover
over his supposed infidelity up in the exercise room. Just like he
had done a couple of months before. When Mastermind had fucked with
his brain and doped him with the Sybil drug. After he had just had
sex with some woman he barely knew, under said influence.

Aya didn't handle having other people in the workout room with him at
the best of times anymore. But if he showed up there now, after the
other man thinking he had cheated on him again, it would be worth his
life and his lover's sanity most likely. Just fucking great. For a
moment Yohji wondered if a certain telepath had set things up. How
the hell was he going to get out of this mess? The longer Aya stewed
in his own juices, the worse off for him it would be.

A sudden thought occurred to the playboy. He ran back to his room,
picking up his phone. It took a moment to find the number he wanted,
and then Yohji was dialing it, cursing the many rings. Please oh
please don't let it go to voicemail. Just when he lost hope a gruff
voice answered. "It's late, what the hell do you want?"

"Masato? It's Yohji. I need you to get your ass over here right
now, I'm at home."

"Kudoh? What the hell has gotten into you? I'm just about to go to
bed, shouldn't you be tucked in yours with your boyfriend?"

Yohji tore at his hair with his free hand, voice rising
hysterically. "NO. Aya's upstairs with his damn sword, most likely
warming up before he comes back down and hacks me into bite-sized
morsels. He thinks I cheated on him tonight, so get your fucking ass
over here right now and tell him otherwise! Now!"

There was silence on the other end for a moment, then the Crasher
spoke in a much clearer voice. "Why can't you tell him what happened
yourself?"

"It'll take too long to explain. Let's just say that the situation
is royally fucked up. I'm begging you, get over here right this
minute."

"Alright, I'm leaving now."

Feeling very grateful, Yohji went down to the kitchen to wait for his
friend to show up. He divided the time between staring at the door
and up at the ceiling, wondering what the hell was going on in Aya's
head. Most likely it wasn't very good. Yohji remembered the warning
he'd been given the other day, about never being forgiven for
cheating on the redhead. Damn Megumi and her tricks, the woman's
need to be the center of attention. He barely liked the girl, and
now his relationship was in serious jeopardy because of her. Just
great.

After what seemed a small eternity, but was really only twenty
minutes, Rook finally appeared. Hearing a slight knock on the door,
Yohji leapt to his feet, yanking it open after fumbling with the
locks. "Masato, I adore you. You are the greatest, for this I will
knock out Honjyou and leave him in your bed, all wrapped up in
ribbons and bows. Aya's upstairs in the exercise room from the
sounds of it. He's armed, so be careful." Then he shoved the man
towards the direction of the stairs.

Trying to get his bearings, not even having the chance to say
a `hello' or anything, Masato climbed up the steps. "Third floor,
right?" At Yohji's frantic nod he continued on, hearing the man
follow him up to the second floor. When he reached his destination
he found the door closed, but a gleam of light showing through the
cracks that signaled that someone was inside. Taking a deep breath,
the Crasher cautiously opened it, wondering if he shouldn't have
brought his weapon.

*******

Step, step, slide, sword flowing up and across, parry before feint.
Aya forced his tired body to got through the motions of the katas,
seeking refuge in their familiarity. Seeking to achieve a state of
pure movement, no emotions or thoughts. Trying so hard to forget
about the last time he had done this. He had Yohji's weapon and he
was facing the door, there was no way the bastard was going to sneak
up on him this time. If the blond attempted to do so he would be as
good as dead, it was as simple as that. Aya was not going to let the
man abuse him again, it was already bad enough that he'd ripped his
heart into pieces.

/ Aren't you getting tired of having to forgive him yet? He'll just
hurt you again and again, don't you know that? You have to ask
yourself if Kudoh is really worth all of this pain./ Schuldig's
voice in his head, not leaving him alone. It rang through the pain,
making tears stream down his face.

/ You ever cheat on me, Kudoh, and there will be no forgiveness, no
second chances. Am I perfectly clear on this?/ Apparently he hadn't
been, and the man had lied to his face hours earlier, telling him
that Yohji would behave, would be good. Instead he'd been out
fucking Nakashima. Had he even gone to the club at all?

Left leg forward, pivot, sword coming down. His body was shaking,
marring the perfection of the exercise. Lunging forward his leg gave
out, causing him fall. Cursing as he lay on the mat floor, Aya
grabbed a handful of his bangs and yanked. Dammit, first Yohji and
now his own body betraying him. Why did he have to be so weak? He
never should have given in to the blond's attentions, then he
wouldn't be in this situation. Lying on the floor as he cried, his
heart this shattered thing in his chest. A weak, stupid fool.

<Shh, it's all right, precious.> Something stirred through Aya's
hair, the lightest touch along a cheekbone, continuing down his
chest. Schuldig's voice again, soothing his hurt. Exhausted and in
pain, Aya didn't fight back, mind too numb. <It will be okay, I'll
make it all better. I've never betrayed you, have I little tuberose?
> Before Aya could figure out if he was imagining this or not the
door opened, causing him to panic. Scrambling to sit upright, katana
wavering in his hand, all he could do was stare at the figure,
gradually realizing it wasn't Kudoh.

"Rook?"

"Heya, Fujimiya. Mind if I come in?" Masato slowly entered the
room, stunned at the look of pain and fear that had been on his
former teammate's face when he had first spied him. He'd never seen
the redhead so shaken. When he was about four meters away from the
other hand the sword stopped trembling and was leveled in his
direction. "Stop."

Masato did so, and then knelt on the floor, very careful to keep his
hands in sight at all times. Something had the swordsman spooked, he
didn't want to push anything. Aya looked as if he was ready to
collapse, body shaking, eyes red, face wet with tears. But the blade
remained perfectly still, aimed at his throat.

The two of them remained motionless, not a word spoken. The older
man decided to break the silence. "Betcha you're wondering why I'm
here, huh?" No response. "I got this frantic call from your
boyfriend." There was a hint of movement, quickly arrested. If
Masato hadn't been watching Aya so closely he would never have seen
it. "Something about you thinking he'd cheated on you tonight.
Well, I can't vouch for what happened before we met at the club, or
afterward even, but I do know that he wasn't fooling around with
anyone while in my presence. Don't think the man left my eyesight
for more than five minutes, so I feel pretty safe in saying that
nothing went on tonight."

Aya remained quiet for another moment, then spoke in a harsh
voice. "Then I'm imaging the hickey on his neck? Know it's not from
me."

"Ah, that. Well, it's a rather funny story, at least from my
perspective. We'd had quite a few drinks at that point, more than we
should have really, but well, I don't think either of us have had
really a good week. We'd been dancing all night long, but Yohji was
very careful about not hanging with any one girl for too long,
telling most of them that he had someone waiting for him at home and
was just looking for a little exercise. Then he ran into this chick
he knew, and back to the dance floor we went, him, her, her friends
and me, us guys not really having any say in the matter. Place was
packed at that point, everyone was in each other's space. He didn't
try anything, but she seemed bound and determined to get a response
out of him. All the alcohol didn't help, but he put a stop to things
pretty quick. Pissed the girl off, she followed him back to the bar
and tossed a drink in his face, yelled some and left. Yohji decided
at that point that he had enough, so we left as well. And
considering the fact that I had just gotten home when he called,
somehow I doubt he had any chance to hook back up with this chick
after we parted company. So could you please put the sword down and
go talk to him, he's ripping his hair out, thinking you're going to
leave him."

When the pale man didn't say anything, Masato sighed. "Aya, please,
go speak to him. I want to go home and sleep, and I can't until the
two of you work this out. Feel like it's partially my fault, I asked
him to go out with me, and I was the one pushing most of the shots."
He'd forgotten how quiet and still the other man could get, and
sincerely hoped it wouldn't be one of those times when Aya would
suddenly burst into motion, spoiling for a fight. "He really loves
you, I don't think Yohji would even think of cheating on you, let
alone doing it." The room became quiet again.

"Come on here, say something Aya. That you believe I'm full of shit
and covering for the guy, that you trust me and what I said, or even
if you're still going to kill Kudoh. Anything."

All Aya could do was shake his head, unsure of what he thought.
Masato had never lied to him, why would he do so now, and for Yohji?
Sure the men were friends, but had barely known each other for a
month. No, what had him rendered still was two warring emotions,
elation that Yohji hadn't cheated on him and this unshakable feeling
that if the man hadn't already done so, he would again one day. And
there wouldn't be a telepath to blame it on that time. He didn't
know which one he was to trust, and was so tired of being filled with
pain and doubt. Leave the man or go down to him, he was afraid that
his heart would be broken either way.

<He'll hurt you again, but this time it wasn't his fault. It's more
yours than anyone's.> Pansy colored eyes blinked in shock, unable to
accept that Schuldig had just defended Kudoh, albeit in a twisted
way. Maybe he was imaging the voice in his head. Aya shivered as
the phantom touch returned to his face, stroking down the trails his
tears had made. Suddenly all the redhead wanted was to be safe in
Kudoh's arms, held tight by his lover.

Masato tensed when Aya gracefully rose to his feet, eyes never
leaving the drawn blade. As he watched Aya crossed the room, picking
up the sheath and what looked to be a watch. Which was Yohji's, if
he wasn't mistaken. Still not speaking, the pale man left the room.
Not sure what decision his friend had made, the Crasher followed.
Hoping for the best.

As soon as Aya stepped on the second floor he found Yohji waiting for
him, leaning against the hallway wall as he smoked a cigarette. The
blond straightened up, face filled with hope at the sight of him.
When the smaller man didn't say or do anything the smile disappeared
from the handsome face. "Aya, love, I swear I didn't even think of
cheating on you tonight. I would never hurt you like that." Closing
his eyes for a second, Aya held out the man's watch.

Yohji gingerly took the weapon, heart jumping at the sight of it.
There was no way Aya would give it back if he didn't trust him
again. The next thing he knew his arms were full of a trembling
redhead. Kissing whatever part of his lover that he could, the
playboy held on so tight he knew that Aya had to have a problem
breathing. But the pale man never complained, just lifted his face
up. Yohji was all too happy to kiss him until he really couldn't
breath. "Love you, kitten, only you."

Green eyes looked up to spy Masato standing on the steps, watching
them. Yohji nodded his head in thanks as Aya started to pull him to
their bedroom. The scruffy man waved his hand in acknowledgement,
made a thumbs up sign and then continued on downstairs.

Once in their room Aya set his katana down on the dresser, then
turned around to kiss the blond again. Who promptly maneuvered them
over to the bed, being careful to make sure that he landed on the
furniture first, Aya tucked safely against his chest. For several
minutes they devoured the other's mouth, hands buried in each other's
hair as they fought the need for oxygen.

Gasping out his boyfriend's name, Yohji let his head fall back down
on the bed. And moaned as Aya's mouth moved down his neck. He held
onto the crimson strands tightly, urging the mouth closer to his
skin. There was a flick of a tongue and without warning teeth were
biting deeply into his flesh. Letting out a whimper, Yohji didn't do
anything to discourage Aya. Instead he tilted his back some more.
Aya's mouth took to sucking on the bite, and it dimly entered the
older man's mind that his lover was working the mark that Megumi had
left, making it his own. "Gods, kitten, yes."

The mouth continued down, lavishing kisses on his collarbone and
nipples. Unable to stand it any more Yohji jerked the smaller man
up, attacking the parted lips, needing the way Aya tasted more than
anything. Very slowly, so as not to startle the his boyfriend, he
rolled over until the redhead was under him. Hands stroking down a
pale chest he kissed Aya fervently, rocking his pelvis into the other
man's until they both were groaning.

Yohji tugged at his zipper as he trailed his lips and tongue down the
alabaster column before him, leaving a brand or two of his own. He
was Aya's and Aya was his, it was as simple as that. And at that
moment he had to prove that claim, reestablish what had almost been
lost. As soon as his pants were gone he worked on the younger man's,
grateful for loose cotton pants that just slid right off, along with
the silk boxers. Once that white body was exposed in all its
perfection he set about worshipping it with his hands and mouth.

Aya would catch his breath, inhale, exhale, and lose it all over
again. It was more than just pleasure that Kudoh was giving him,
each caress radiated warmth and love. He felt cherished by the older
man, treated as something rare and lovely. For a moment Aya wished
more than anything that that was true, that he was something other
than a freak of a murderer. But Yohji was making him forget all of
that as a peaked nipple was rolled between skilled fingers, as a
tongue speared inside of his navel, making him squirm. It seemed
that his lover was everywhere, stoking a fire in him until all the
cold was chased away. He burned.

It was so sweet to hear his name mewled, to feel Aya writhing under
him, holding him close. Yohji quickly grabbed some lube, desperate
to be inside the beautiful form spread before him. He sucked on the
inside of a pale thigh, leaving yet more proof of his ownership.
When his slick fingers pressed inside his lover the man bucked, head
tossed back as Aya pushed down on the digits, needing to take them in
deeper. Moaning at the sight of his kitten wanton and spread before
him, Yohji stroked the man's dripping shaft, driving Aya even wilder
with passion. Unable to hold himself back any longer he prepared
himself and settled between the long white legs, guiding himself into
heaven.

"Oh gods, kitten. So perfect." A hand reached to tilt the smaller
man's head up, wanting to see those beautiful eyes, have Aya focus
his attention on him. When the dark orbs latched on to his Yohji
slowly thrust in even deeper, biting back on a moan. "Only you.
Only ever want to be in you, love. You were made for me, like I
said, and I don't want anyone else. Not when I have you. And you
have me. Forever." Aya didn't say anything, just yanked his head
down for a searing kiss as long limbs wrapped around his waist so
tight, urging him forward as much as he could go. Keeping his
thrusts languid yet sure, refusing to hurry this moment, Yohji
watched the redhead underneath him, wanting to memorize every second
of this. The way Aya tossed back his head, mouth panting as he
brushed against his prostrate, the way the dark purple eyes went
glassy with pleasure, crimson bangs feathering down on the lovely
face, each soft sound the man produced. The fear that maybe this
time he really had lost his lover for good had torn at him, he didn't
have a clue at how he would ever exist without Aya by his side, in
his bed.

Fingers clutched at his hips, pulling him closer as Aya's breath
caught in his throat. Knowing that the man was nearing the edge,
Yohji increased his pace, losing himself more with each now frantic
plunge into the tight hot body beneath his. Dammit but the redhead
always did this to him, shattered his control, preventing him from
savoring the moment as lust and need took over. All he wanted was
the moment that Aya's walls collapsed from pleasure, when the man was
bared to the world, body, heart and soul. Because of him, only for
Yohji Kudoh to see.

Gasping out his lover's name, Aya's body clenched as the orgasm
ripped through him, breaking him into tiny pieces. Feeling himself
squeezed almost painfully tight, Yohji couldn't hold back anymore,
felt himself come as well in shuddering waves as he thrust as deeply
as he could one last time. Eyes drifting closed, all the blond could
do was lie on top of his lover, feeling Aya obstinately still cling
to him, smell the man's skin as he buried his nose in the crook of
the pale man's neck. How the hell his kitten could still manage to
smell of roses when he hadn't spent more than five minutes in the
flower shop that day was beyond him.

It took Yohji a minute to realize that Aya was trembling. Trying to
lift himself up, he found himself clutched even tighter. Green eyes
opened and took in the sight of the redhead's face drawn in pain and
fear, instead of wearing the normally blissful expression that it
usually did after sex. "What's wrong, love?"

When the smaller man's eyes were revealed he caught a flash of
anxiety that slowly bled away. "Yohji?"

"Who else would it be?" The playboy stroked a golden hand over his
lover's face, brushing back the sweaty bangs. For a moment he
thought of teasing Aya about having someone else in his bed, but was
afraid of resurrecting the just buried fight while there was a hint
of fear on that pale visage. "It's me. It'll always be me."

"Was afraid it was another dream." Reassured that it wasn't, that it
was Kudoh he was holding onto, Aya let his body relax. Now that the
adrenaline from earlier was spent, he felt completely exhausted.
Yohji stared down at him for a few more seconds, then shifted off of
him, drawing a moan from his lips as the man slid out of his body.
It was almost painful, losing that intimate contact. As the older
man sat next to him Aya skimmed a hand down his front, grimacing at
the cooling semen clinging to his abdomen and now fingers. He hated
to be sticky and dirty. Before he could reach for some tissues Yohji
captured his hand, drawing it into a lush mouth. Emerald orbs stared
deep into his as the fingers were meticulously cleaned. When done
the mouth moved down to his stomach, just as fastidiously licking up
all traces of the sticky fluid. And from a pale thigh as well,
meticulous and fervent in its task. That completed, Yohji lifted the
pale hand he had just cleaned and ran it over his own body, licking
the gathered semen from the fingers again and again until it was all
gone.

Unsure of what to say or do, Aya only gazed back at Yohji. Who once
more settled on top of him, kissing his lips softly before trailing
them down his neck. "Your mine, Aya. But you keep forgetting that
I'm yours as well. I don't want anyone else, you're the only one I
love." Once more his boyfriend looked him in the eye. "Why can't
you believe that? You came back bearing Mastermind's marks a few
weeks ago, never for a moment did I believe that you got them
willingly. Why won't you give me the same trust?" The blond hadn't
wanted to continue this argument, but was afraid what leaving it
alone would do to their relationship. "Why? Is it because of what
happened during the Sybil mission? That wasn't me."

"I know, Yohji." Closing his eyes, Aya threaded his fingers through
the honey blond locks and used that hold to draw Kudoh's head down,
until their foreheads touched. "I just- I just don't see how you can
love me, and wait for you to realize that you don't. I… keep seeing
you with someone else when I close my eyes."

A soft growl caused his eyes to open. "Listen to me for once, Aya.
I love you. You are more than worthy of that emotion. I don't care
what anyone else ever told you, or that `I'm just a murderer'
bullshit you got stuck in that pretty head of yours, but nothing is
ever going to change those two facts. And the one of what I love I
never let go of. Never willingly, at least. I'd more than kill for
you, I'd do whatever it takes to keep you safe and with me.
Including gladly keeping my hands and any other body part off of
another person. I don't want someone else, not when I have you. So
the next time you think of me cheating on you, remember this
moment." That said, Yohji commenced kissing Aya with all of the
skill and passion he could muster, rendering the smaller man
breathless and not even stopping then. Finally pulling back, he
smugly noticed how Aya panted for air, lips swollen from the
attention, amethyst eyes devoid of doubt. "Never think that again.
I love you, stubborn, sneaky bastard that you are. Never letting you
go."

"Kudoh…" Letting his voice drift off, Aya just shook his head. For
once the possessive words didn't grate against his pride, instead
helped to calm his fears. Yohji truly never did let go of what he
thought of as his. And the idiot called him stubborn. So instead he
just said what he felt. "I love you. Guess we're both crazy."

"Maybe they'll lock us up in the same padded room, if we ask real
nicely." Happy to see a hint of a smile on his lover's face, Yohji
leaned over the slender figure to turn off the lamp, then wriggled
about on the bed until the comforter was covering the both of them.
Laying flat on his back he extended an arm in invitation. Aya
wearily shifted over until he rested half on top of the older
man. "Just think, the two of us alone together all day long, the
floor one big mattress, never having to work again. Sounds like
heaven to me." All he got back in form of a reply was a snort.

Content to have Yohji's arms about him, breathing in Yohji's scent
with each inhale, Aya pushed aside the worries and fears gnawing at
him as he loosened his hold on awareness. When a hand took to
stroking through his hair he realized that the blond was singing,
voice rough from cigarettes and alcohol, never in the same key for
more than a few words.

Listen to an angel sing
Listen to the joy it brings
Huddled underneath a cloud
I would just shout out loud
Why do I suffer so?
Why do I want to go?
An angel says in disguise
"Until you've learned the meaning of trust
Until you learn the meaning of light
Until you learn to rip off the night and day
You're never gonna be alright
So c'mon and take a stand
And kick until you think that you understand
Until you learn to rip on the night and day
You're never gonna be okay
Until you learn the meaning of light
You're never gonna be alright"
And what do you know about me?
How can you possibly see?
Without walking in my shoes
You'll never taste enough of my blues

The rest of the song faded away, the lyrics becoming more and more
indistinct with each breath he took. But the previous words
reverberated in his head, oddly soothing him. Unlike the song last
night, that tore at something he couldn't name. Giving up on
thinking, Aya surrendered to sleep. From so far away he heard
another voice. <He'll only hurt you again and again.>

*******

Song is `Suffering' by Satchel

Retour Chapitre 6