Author: Max Ikari
Pairings: Yohji/Aya for now. I am still deciding on
the other pairing. Gomen.
Warnings: NC-17, Lemon, Non-consensual sex, violence,
adult language, adult situations, some AU.
Genre: Angst, romance, some sap.
[ ] Inner thoughts
/ / Mind Talking
One Art
Prologue
The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.
Then practice losing a father, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother’s watch. And look! My last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.
Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture I love)
I shan’t have lied. It’s evident
The art of losing’s not too hard to master
Though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
Elizabeth Bishop
Summer of 1995
" Ohayo! Come back and visit us soon!" said Kahori, a
blonde petit girl that had just turned 16.
" If you think I am going to talk that way you are
crazy," said Goushi who had been watching the whole
spectacle with dread, arms crossed above his chest.
Goushi was a young man of 16 that had blue eyes and
black hair. He was lean giving him a more youthful
appearance.
" Oh, come on!" said Kahori. " It’s not that bad. You
make it sound like I am making a fool of myself."
Goushi’s perfectly arched eyebrow twitched upward at
the comment but said nothing. Instead he said: " Ran,
would you talk that way?"
" No," said Ran seriously from the desk where he was
checking the orders.
" Ran, you are not supposed to say that. You are
always supposed to agree with a girl," said Kahori
coming up to hug Ran from his back. " It is bad
manners, I will tell your okaasan."
" Go ahead," said Ran not looking up from the order
papers.
" That’s the spirit!" laughed Goushi. " Don’t let her
blackmail you into being nice to her. The little ogre
should learn to be better behaved."
" Who are you calling an ogre?" said Kahori voice
dangerously low. You could almost see fire emanating
from her body. Thankfully Ran helped calm the furious
girl.
" Kahori you shouldn’t listen to him. You are a
beautiful girl," said Ran quietly. Kahori beamed and
nodded her head vigorously.
" You should listen to Ran, Goushi. He knows how to
appreciate beauty not like other people…" said Kahori
hands on hips grinning triumphantly. Goushi was about
to mock her when he saw someone at the window.
" Ohayo! How may I help you?" asked Goushi pretending
not to see the smiles on both Ran and Kahori.
" Ohayo, I was wondering what’s the day’s special,"
said Asuka. Goushi blushed when he saw the woman. He
always blushed when given attention by a woman. Of
course that didn’t include Kahori whom he had
basically grown up with.
" Well it is curry," said Goushi trying to seem
professional.
" Umm, let’s see…Yohji come here please?" said Asuka
waving at the man pacing outside the restaurant.
Yohji entered the restaurant looking around him. He
didn’t seem happy to say the least.
" Don’t make that face Yohji. It won’t be that bad,
besides these guys seem nice," said Asuka smiling at
Yohji. Yohji looked at the kids and settled on Ran.
The boy had such a strange hair color. Kahori saw
Yohji eyeing Ran and said cheerfully, " That’s Ran and
yes it is natural."
Yohji smiled awkwardly when he saw Goushi and Ran turn
to look at him.
" Gomenasai, I didn’t mean to be rude," said Yohji
seriously.
" It’s okay, every body that sees Ran does the same
thing. He is used to it by now," said Goushi
obviously amused at Yohji’s discomfort.
" Ran? Aren’t you bothered by this?" asked Asuka
eyeing him. Her gaze was so full of compassion, that
Ran had to smile.
" Iie, I am used to it by now," said Ran smiling. "
So do you know what you are going to order?"
"Ran! Don’t be rude," said Kahori. " You must forgive
him, he left his manners at school."
" It’s okay. There is curry today, what do you
think?" asked Asuka turning to see Yohji.
" That’s fine. Not like I have much choice," said
Yohji smiling.
" Okay, so to curry plates it is. That will be 800
yen," said Goushi who was giving the order to Ran.
Ran turned to go to the kitchen and give the order to
the restaurant owner Buchida, Eishi. The man’s family
had been running the restaurant for almost two
generations, however, now with bigger restaurants it
was more difficult to keep afloat.
" Buchida sensei," said Ran smiling. " We got another
order. Two orders of curry."
" Hai, Ran-san," said Mr. Buchida going to prepare the
curry.
" It will be ready in a moment," said Ran coming up to
the register.
" Arigato," said Asuka while she and Yohji looked for
a place to sit. After they served Asuka and Yohji
their food, the three teenagers went ahead with their
afternoon and forgot all about them.
April 21, 1996
" I am so exhausted!" sighed Goushi as Ran, Kahori,
Aya walked home. " This is like the worst day in my
life."
" Could that be because you didn’t study for your
test?" asked Ran not looking at him.
" Ran! You are a pain in the ass," said Goushi
obviously offended. " Besides the professor doesn’t
like me. It’s almost like hate."
" Uh,uh," said Kahori smiling. " And I am Cleopatra,
queen of the Nile." Kahori and Aya laughed together
at this.
" Kahori! Ran help me here," said Goushi.
" No, you dug that hole yourself," said Ran smiling at
Goushi. " Besides I have to be nice to Aya, her
birthday is this weekend."
" Oh yeah. Dammit," said Goushi muttering quietly. He
had forgotten to get Aya a birthday present and knew
that Ran would be offended if he didn’t get anything.
" You didn’t forget did you?" asked Kahori
mischievously. Goushi slightly jumped at the
well-aimed jab. Oh, that girl was going to get it
when he got his hands on her.
" No, no…I just remembered something else," said
Goushi. " I will catch up with you later. See ya."
Goushi left toward his house, which was about two
blocks away from his own. Kahori was Goushi’s
neighbor but she was spending the night with Aya. Ran
only hoped both of them would leave him alone this
time. Last time…Ran just shuddered at the memory.
" It will be so much fun, don’t you think oniichan?"
asked Aya sweetly. Ran already knew her tactics, act
sweet and then turn on him. He learned hi lesson the
first time.
" I guess. I am going out in a while, have to go to
the library," said Ran off handedly.
" But Ran…" said Aya until Kahori elbowed her to be
quiet.
" I know you guys wanted to do something to me. So I
am leaving," said Ran smiling. " Maybe next time you
will be luckier."
After dinner Ran left his house and started walking to
the library. He was supposed to go with Goushi but
the idiot wanted to watch wrestling. Ran could see
why Goushi would rather stay home. He would if he
weren’t afraid of being attacked by those two girls.
Sighing Ran started picking up the pace, it was almost
9pm and he would rather be in the library right now
than walking the silent streets. About a block away
from the library he heard a moan when he was rounding
the corner. Stopping Ran cocked his head in an
attempt to see if he heard right. Silence. Shrugging
it off as nervousness Ran kept on walking until he
passed a dark alley and heard the moan again. There
was a moaning sound and the rustling of some kind.
[Oh, gods. What if it is a murderer? Or a ghost?]
Ran stopped feeling the blood freeze in his veins.
[It’s my fault for listening to that baka. What did
he say? That ghosts moan and you can hear the dragging
of their chains.] Ran whimpered at that thought
[Ghost don’t exist. I know that. It is only your
imagination Ran. Stop being stupid.]
" Hello? Anybody there?" asked Ran hating the way his
voice sounded. Walking a little bit closer toward the
entry of the alley he repeated again. " Hello? Goushi
if that’s you knock it off."
Nothing. Shrugging Ran decided to get out of there as
fast as he could. That’s when he heard it; it wasn’t
moaning it was more like a groan. It sounded so close
to him, almost in front of him. Searching his pack
Ran came out with a bottle of maze and a small
flashlight. Taking a deep breath, he flashed it into
the alley and there in a pile of garbage laid a blonde
man. He was unconscious.
" Hey wake up, you are bleeding. I can’t do anything
for you if you don’t wake up," said Ran trying to get
the guy to wake up.
Yohji came awake in degrees. First he didn’t know
where he was but little by little he came aware of his
surroundings, the voice questioning him, and the pain.
Groaning Yohji put a hand on his abdomen to stop the
bleeding. Turning toward the shaky voice, Yohji
noticed the boy. He was sure he had seen that face
before but couldn’t place him.
" Sir, you are bleeding. We should go to a hospital,"
said Ran trying not to show how afraid he was. " I-I
know where the hospital is, I could take you there."
Yohji snorted at this which made him clutch at his
abdomen again in pain. " Kid, I can’t go to the
hospital. People will wonder how I got shot."
" Oh, gods," said Ran starting to back away. [I bet he
just murdered somebody and I am a witness] " I-I-I
swear I didn’t see a thing. Actually I am supposed to
be at the library. I-I will just be on my way," said
Ran trying to escape the situation.
Yohji could just see the fear on the boy’s eyes.
Almost at the same time he noticed the bottle of maze
the boy had in his hands. [Oh, great now I am going to
get maze on my face]
" You shouldn’t play with that. Someone might get
hurt," said Yohji smiling faintly. " Please if you
could take me to a hospital I would be much obliged."
Ran looked at him suspiciously before nodding once and
crouching so Yohji would be able to use him as a
crutch.
" By the way I am Yohji," said Yohji smiling faintly.
Ran eyed him as recognition seemed to seep into his
eyes.
" You are that guy…" said Ran before he decided not to
say anything. Getting into a cab Ran took Yohji to
the nearest hospital.
Yohji could feel the effects of the morphine in his
body. His body felt unnaturally relaxed making it
easier to deal with what had happened to Asuka.
Asuka…
Every time he closed his eyes he could still see her
fall, and every time he saw her fall he blamed himself
about it. He could hear the voices of their
persecutors and how they had taken the life of the one
he loved. Damn them. Even if it was the last thing
he ever did in life he was going to avenge her.
Opening his eyes he was startled when he saw the young
boy besides his bed looking at him with concern.
" How are you feeling?" asked Ran quietly. He looked
around not very comfortable at being in a hospital.
The last time he had been at the hospital was to get a
tetanus shot and that wasn’t a very good memory.
" You are still here?" asked Yohji incredulously. "
What will your parents say about this?" Yohji could
see the comment sink in and Ran almost bolt out of the
chair.
" Oh, gods my parents…" said Ran putting a hand to his
chest not knowing what to do.
" Go home your parents are bond to be worried," said
Yohji patting Ran’s arm to get him to go. Right now
he wanted to be alone anyway.
" But---what about your family? Any friends I can call
and let them know you are here?" asked Ran taking out
a little notebook to make some notes.
Yohji’s eyes narrowed slightly. " How did you get in
here? I believe only family is allowed."
" Umm, yeah. I kind of told them I was your cousin,"
said Ran looking down. " They wouldn’t believe I was
your brother you know with the hair and all…are you
mad?"
Yohji looked at Ran and bursted out laughing. Ran
eyes narrowed at Yohji’s laughter thinking that the
blonde was laughing at him.
" What’s so funny?" asked Ran dangerously low.
" What is your name again?" asked Yohji when he was
done laughing.
" Fujimiya, Ran," said Ran staring at Yohji not happy
at all.
" Sorry Ran didn’t mean to do that, you just made it
sound like you were committing a felony,’ said Yohji
amused.
" For me it is!" hissed Ran. " I have never done
anything like this before."
" Why are you doing this?" asked Yohji seriously.
" Well…you seemed lonely," said Ran quietly. " My
friend Goushi hounds me when I am lonely so I just
thought I would return the favor."
Yohji looked at the boy and noticed how serious he
seemed. Like he wasn’t sure about himself almost shy.
Up close he noticed the shade of his eyes, violet.
Cute kid. Yohji was an open bisexual but he just
didn’t do kids. If the boy had been a little older
maybe…still the kid looked like a lost puppy…however
when he grew up a little he would be hot.
" What’s wrong?" asked Ran when he saw Yohji staring
at him.
" Nothing. I was just seeing the color of your eyes.
I don’t believe I have ever seen that color," said
Yohji grinning. " I guess you always learn something
new."
" Um so do you have any friends I can call?" asked Ran
shifting in his seat.
" Not anymore," said Yohji quietly.
" Oh, I—I am sorry," said Ran seriously. " Well I’ve
got to go but I will come visit you tomorrow after
school."
" Don’t bother I will be gone by then," said Yohji not
feeling like talking after remembering Asuka.
" But the doctor said…" said Ran seriously. " You are
not supposed to leave the hospital before."
" Look kid…" said Yohji stopping when he saw that the
kid was angry.
" You almost died out there. I didn’t help you so you
could get killed because you are stubborn," said Ran
angry. " If he said you should stay, I think you
should. Please."
Yohji wanted to say no but he really didn’t have the
heart and besides he was exhausted.
" Okay, I will stay," said Yohji defeated.
" Thank you. I will come see you tomorrow. Anything
you want?" asked Ran before leaving.
" How about some cigarettes?" asked Yohji. " Oh
forget it I don’t think you can buy them you are still
to young."
" I—I can get a friend to help me," said Ran blushing
slightly.
" Oh the rebel. Would that be your friend Goushi?"
asked Yohji grinning.
" Hai," said Ran not looking up from the floor.
" Well then, please do. I am going to die in here if
I don’t get a cigarette and since you are forcing me
to stay here you may as well do me a favor," said
Yohji lying back in the pillow and closing his eyes.
" Ok, goodnight Yohji-kun," said Ran and left the
room. When Ran left Yohji wished he were back s=to
help chase away the nightmares he had of Asuka.
When Ran had gotten home it was close to 2am and his
father had not been happy. When Ran told him he had
helped a friend to the hospital he didn’t get as
punished. Instead of total house arrest, (what his
father said he was going to give him) he had a curfew
of 9pm for the next two months. However, Ran was
starting to think if that was going to become longer
when he got reprimanded in class for falling asleep.
Oh well. He was now on his way to the hospital after
having begged Goushi to get him some cigarettes. The
baka had enjoyed seeing Ran squirm in embarrassment.
That was until Ran had said he was going to tell
everybody about the time he hid in the girls locker
room. Goushi got him the cigarettes pretty fast. Ran
didn’t know why he was being so nice to Yohji, the guy
didn’t need his help and truth be told he had made
Yohji stay an extra day in the hospital because he
didn’t want the blonde to leave.
Reaching Yohji’s room he was surprised to see the room
empty. Ran’s breath caught in his throat and his
heart did a lurch.
[He’s gone. I can’t blame him, he just said he would
stay to make me feel better.]
Ran felt very depressed after that. Reaching the
elevator he pressed the button for the first floor.
He walked out of the hospital thinking whether Yohji
was okay or if he was forced to leave out of fear.
[Maybe the people that shot him caught up with him]
That thought almost made Ran’s heart stop. Where
would Yohji be? Last night the guy had survived
because Ran happened to be in the area, but what if
Yohji was bleeding his life out somewhere? Oh, gods he
hoped that wasn’t true. He reached into his pockets
reaching for the pack of cigarettes. [What am I
supposed to do with these? If okaasan ran into
these…]
The redhead kept walking until he saw a trashcan and
as he was about to throw them away a hand reached out
to grab his wrist.
" Don’t. Are you crazy?" said Yohji looking at Ran
surprised. Ran couldn’t talk, he had been so startled
that he had wanted to scream but it came out as a
groan. Yohji turned to look at him and noticed that
the boy was as white as a sheet.
" Oi, are you okay?" said Yohji grinning. Ran took
control of himself and managed to shove Yohji hard.
" Don’t do that! You nearly killed me," hissed Ran
angrily. " Where were you?"
" Hey, hey I was coming to pick my cigarettes.
Besides the doc said I could leave. You wouldn’t want
someone else to die because I had their place," said
Yohji prying the cigarettes out of Ran’s hand.
" Sorry," said Ran quietly. " I—I thought you lied to
me."
" I did," said Yohji " But hey I had nowhere else to
go, and I had to come say goodbye."
" Goodbye? Where are you going?" asked Ran.
" Oi, you would think you had some kind of claim to
me. Good think you are a guy," grinned Yohji while he
lighted a cigarette. " I am leaving. Got a good
proposition and I accepted."
" Oh," said Ran looking down at his shoes. They grew
into an awkward silence both not knowing what to do.
" You want to get some coffee? Kind of payment for
helping me," said Yohji quietly. Ran only nodded. He
felt sad that the guy was leaving.
Yohji picked a coffeehouse that was about 15 min away
from the hospital. Ran had been silent ever since he
found out Yohji was leaving. They had drank the
coffee in silence, Yohji sometimes asking questions
while Ran answered seriously. By now the blonde knew
almost everything about him, and he didn’t know a
thing. Afterwards they had walked back to Ran’s
house, but stopped in a park about 5 blocks away.
Yohji sat at a bench and Ran followed suit.
" Um, I know this may sound strange but I was
wondering if I would ever see you again," said Ran
looking up at Yohji seriously. Yohji gave him a look
he didn’t recognize before answering.
" I don’t get involved with kids," said Yohji quietly,
cigarette on his hand. " If you where older maybe…"
Ran blushed furiously at this and stared at the hands
in his lap. He hadn’t thought he was that obvious.
" Gomen," said Ran quietly trying not to sound hurt.
It was a silly crush anyways. He had felt needed and
even though he had friends and his sister they didn’t
need him. He wanted to feel needed. Ran felt a small
caress on his cheek and he turned wide eyes at Yohji.
" You are really very beautiful but I just can’t right
now…I promise I will look you up sometime," said Yohji
getting up. " Don’t look so miserable kid, it’s not
the end of the world."
Ran tried to smile but he didn’t feel happy enough to
smile and before he knew it a small kiss was planted
on his lips and just like that it ended.
" I promise I will see you again Ran," said Yohji
before turning and getting into a dark car that was
parked at the curb. Ran saw the car leave and he gave
a little smile.
" I know you will Yohji-kun," whispered Ran before
heading home. Ran felt happy and didn’t think
anything could ruin his mood, however, on Aya-chan’s
birthday he learned better.
TBC