Author: Max Ikari

Pairings: Yohji/Aya, Schuldich/Aya

Warnings: NC-17, Lemon, non-consensual sex, violence,

adult language, etc.

[] Inner thoughts

/Mind talking/

The Devil’s Own

Chapter 18

Aya awoke with a silent scream on his lips covered in

sweat. His heart hammered wildly in his chest and

after the initial shock had faded, Aya realized he was

shaking. It had almost been a month since he had last

seen Schwartz and had killed all of those people.

Still… He had nightmares. The dead never left their

killers alone. Another reason why there are so many

crazy people out there. Aya snorted at that thought.

Yohji hadn’t touched him in any sexual way at all.

Maybe the blonde finally realized how twisted Aya

really was. That scared him. Of course the fact that

he had told Yohji to give him time hadn’t escaped his

mind, yet right now Aya wanted someone to take it out

of his hands. A dark part of him wanted Yohji to

force himself on him, to take the choice out of his

hands. Getting up Aya was saddened to see that Yohji

hadn’t even slept at the chair. Sometimes the blond

would do that sit all night watching him and slip out

before he woke up. However, today it seemed he hadn’t

even been here, usually a can of beer or gum wrappings

would be on the night table. Nothing. Getting up the

redhead gathered his hair in a band before going to

the bathroom. Then he put on some clothes to go out

running. When he reached the kitchen he say Omi and

Ken already at breakfast.

" Ohayo Aya-kun! Going for a run?" asked Omi happily.

It still unnerved Aya that Omi could be so cheerful.

" Ohayo Omi," said Aya quietly. He went to the fridge

and search for a bottle of water, when he turned

toward Omi and Ken they were eyeing him curiously.

Aya lifted a brow at their staring.

" Are you still carrying that thing?" asked Ken as if

annoyed.

" It’s none of your business," answered Aya coldly.

" Aya-kun you can’t go around carrying that gun

everywhere you go. It’s dangerous," said Omi looking

grave. Aya’s eyes narrowed dangerously.

" Thank you Omi. You have to excuse me but I have to

go run," snapped Aya turning to leave and walking

right into Yohji. Aya backed from trying not to rub

his nose even though it did hurt.

" Watch where you are walking," said Aya already angry

at Omi’s comment.

" I could tell you the same thing and Good morning to

you to," said Yohji laying down the bags he was

carrying.

"Hn," and with that he left the house.

The only time Aya felt totally free was when he was

running. The cool air hitting his face and the

working of his muscles made him feel alive. To feel

pain meant he was still alive not stuck in a

nightmare. However, that only made his life the more

depressing. Then he started running faster until it

hurt to breathe and his muscles burned, until he could

do nothing else but collapse on the grass. He stayed

crouched trying to get his breathing back to normal.

" You shouldn’t force yourself," said Yohji sitting on

a bench on the park. Aya looked up startled out of

his pain.

" Y-Yohji what are you doing here?" asked Aya pushing

the hair out of his face.

" Watching you," said Yohji with a lazy smile. Aya

couldn’t help but blush at that comment and

straightened right away trying not to look at Yohji.

" Having nightmares again?" asked Yohji putting a

cigarette to his lips. " You know you shouldn’t blame

yourself. Everyone reaches their breaking point."

All of a sudden Yohji seemed smug of himself. Aya

could feel the anger rising over him funny how after

living with Schwartz he was so temperamental. He

would let emotions cloud his judgment. Yohji might

have seen the change because he raised his hands in

surrender before standing up.

" You know I am just trying to help you, but it seems

you don’t want to be helped," said Yohji stubbing out

his cigarette. When he started to turn to leave Aya

had the sudden fear that Yohji was giving up on him.

He had to do something or he would end up alone.

" I-I am sorry…I-I…sorry," said Aya keeping his eyes

on the ground. Yohji turned to look at him and stared

at him.

" You have changed. I don’t know if it is a good

thing or out of necessity," said Yohji in a detached

tone.

Aya’s head snapped up at this. " What do you mean?"

" You are just saying that because you think that is

what I want to hear. Yes you have suffered some rough

times but still… your mood changes so quickly. I

first thought it was the year away but you are much

stronger than that. Sometimes you look like a lost

puppy and when you actually get angry and see people

start to retreat you change your manner completely.

You are afraid of being left alone," said Yohji

quietly.

" NO! I-I am not afraid of being alone," said Aya

angrily. He was but his pride was at stake here.

Yohji smiled at seeing Aya getting angry, that is the

Aya he fell in love with.

" Oh…so if I left you wouldn’t feel a thing. So I

don’t mean anything to you?" asked Yohji. He knew he

was being cruel to Aya by making him admit to needing

him.

Aya seemed confused by the question. It was cute to

see his features change from being angry to not

knowing how to react. Either way he would lose

something. By admitting to caring for Yohji he

admitted to having feelings. It would betray his

whole character.

" I don’t have to answer that," snapped Aya. Oh, he

found a way around it thought Yohji. Pretend to being

angry and make Yohji walk away without an answer.

" Oh but you do. See what I am thinking is that there

is no point to stay with Weiss anymore. Ken and Omi

have their own lives, you have your own and what do I

have? Nothing. I stayed because of you but you don’t

need me. Not anymore. You are strong and will go on

with your life so I think I am entitled to go on with

mine," said Yohji seriously. He wasn’t looking at

Aya, he was looking toward the end of the park where

some kids were playing.

Aya felt crushed. Was Yohji really leaving, he

wouldn’t doubt it. The guy wanted to get on with his

life, Aya couldn’t blame him. Yet, the whole topic

made Aya ache with something he couldn’t define. It

wasn’t physical pain but it hurt as bad. Damn Yohji

for doing this to him.

" If that’s the way you feel I can’t stop you," said

Aya not looking at Yohji. " I have to go, I have

other things to do besides running."

Yohji watched Aya go with a smile on his lips. Aya

didn’t know but that action had just told Yohji

everything he needed to know. Taking out a cigarette

Yohji felt much better, well at least he was sure that

tonight he would sleep with the redhead. Oh what a

good thing that would be. His body ached with need of

the redhead. And to think that he had only slept once

with Aya…

Aya ran straight home feeling miserable. Yohji was

leaving and his fear had gotten the best of him. How

could he tell Yohji he loved him if Yohji was leaving?

Maybe he had a girlfriend, maybe that was the reason

he had not been to his room last night and the days

before. It all made sense. He felt like crying or

screaming or both together. When he entered the

kitchen just seeing Omi and Ken all over each other

made a small sob escape his lips. Omi turned to look

at him.

" Daijoubu ka Aya?" asked Omi concerned.

" Yeah just tired. I going to take a nap," said Aya

quietly.

" But you just got up…" said Ken before Omi silenced

him. Aya looked around the kitchen once as if looking

for something before turning towards his room.

When Aya was gone Ken asked, " What’s wrong with him?"

Omi turned to look at his lover and smiled. Sometimes

Ken could be so naïve about things.

" I guess Yohji and him finally resolved things," said

Omi smiling.

" What? The guy looked like crap," said Ken scowling

at Omi. " Do you know something you are not telling

me?"

" Of course," teased Omi. " I always do."

" Jerk," said Ken turning toward the TV to finish the

game he had been watching.

Aya was sitting in the tub quietly. His mind had

finally accepted the fact that Yohji was leaving, yet

it seemed that his body had other plans. Tears kept

rolling down his cheeks and had to keep rubbing them

off.

" Damn it!" said Aya getting out of the tub toweling

himself. Looking in the mirror he say that he was at

least looking healthier than he did a month ago.

Still he couldn’t say the same about his psychological

health. Every night he had the same nightmares

killing those people and his family ashamed of him,

rejecting him. Just like Yohji had done. Yohji had

rejected him.

[No he got tired of waiting for you]

[He said he would wait.]

[And he did. He never told you for how long…]

[I wish he weren’t leaving. I wish I had the courage

to tell him…]

Brushing his hair, Aya let the crimson strand free to

get dry. He put on a black t-shirt and pajama bottoms

before crawling right into bed. At least this way he

wouldn’t be thinking about Yohji, he would be too

involved in his torturous nightmare.

Yohji walked into the house about two hours after he

had talked to Aya. Ken was gone. Probably playing

with the kids he loved so much because Omi was at the

computer. When Ken was around Omi was never at the

computer, he was always ‘busy.’ However, Aya was

nowhere to be seen.

" Hey. What are you doing?" asked Yohji peeing over

Omi’s shoulder.

" Browsing," said Omi not turning to look at Yohji.

" In other words looking for sex tips," snickered

Yohji.

" Fuck off Yohji," said Omi exasperated.

" My. My I think I have to talk to that boyfriend of

yours. He seems to be teaching you bad manners," said

Yohji smiling.

" Like you care," said Omi and turned toward the

computer.

" Where is Aya? " asked Yohji trying not to sound too

eager. Omi smiled.

" You should have just asked that at the beginning

instead of picking on me," said Omi stopping his

typing to look at Yohji. " He is in his room,

sleeping."

" Sleeping?" asked Yohji surprised. " Didn’t he just

get up?"

" Same thing Ken asked. You know how strange Aya has

been acting. By the way he looked like crap if that

makes you feel better," said Omi resuming his

browsing.

" Actually it does," said Yohji smiling.

" I thought it would," said Omi smiling.

Yohji entered Aya’s room quietly. The redhead seemed

to be sleeping quietly. That was a first usually he

was thrashing on the bed because of his dreams. As if

to answer his comment Aya started to move and mumble

something incoherent. Yohji sat besides Aya and kept

making soothing sounds to calm him. It didn’t seem to

be helping. Well it still seemed strange that Aya was

sleeping in the middle of the day. Still it was a way

of retreating and Aya always retreated when there was

something emotional he couldn’t handle. Like now.

Yohji had confused Aya and he had done it on purpose.

Aya was so sure of Yohji that he had never thought

Yohji could leave him. Yohji brushed a strand of hair

out of Aya’s face. The redhead didn’t even notice.

Yohji had never said anything before but he loved

Aya’s hair and now that it was longer it mad Aya look

sexier. Every time he touched Aya’s hair it took

everything not to jump him.

" Aya wake up. Aya…" said Yohji seeing that Aya was

getting scared. He could hear it in the faint

whimpers. In the way he was holding his body reading

to escape but not being able to. Yohji had already

experienced the type of nightmares Aya had. It came

with the territory.

" Aya!" said Yohji more firmly shaking the redhead.

Aya’s eyes snapped open and before he knew it Yohji

was looking at the end of a gun barrel. Aya didn’t

seem to recognize him. However, Yohji could have

wrenched the gun out of Aya’s grasp easily. Aya

didn’t seem to have much control of it since his gun

hand was shaking.

" Aya put it down," said Yohji quietly lowering the

gun from his face. Aya seemed to snap out of it and

put the safety back on.

" What are you doing in my room?" snapped Aya. Yohji

knew how Aya hated to be seen as vulnerable.

" I was coming to wake you. What are you doing asleep

in the middle of the day? I thought I was the only

one who did that," said Yohji laughing quietly. Aya’s

eyes narrowed before he got up and started searching

his drawers for something to wear.

" What are you doing?" asked Yohji racking a hand

through his hair.

" Going out," said Aya and started undressing in front

of Yohji not minding one bit. Yohji’s jaw almost fell

to the floor. There stood Aya in underwear not

knowing what it was doing to Yohji. However, the show

ended to soon when Aya put on some jeans and a green

t-shirt.

" Where are you going?" asked Yohji when he was sure

his voice sounded normal.

" Anywhere as long as it is away from you," said Aya

tying his shoes and grabbing a denim jacket.

" Does my presence bother you that much?" asked Yohji

pretending to be injured.

" Right now it does," said Aya pulling his hair in a

band.

" Your hair looks better when it is loose," said Yohji

coming up behind Aya to remove the band from his hair

and skimming his knuckles behind Aya’s neck.

Aya let out a shaky breath before he got a hold of

himself.

" Well it bothers me that way," the redhead snapped

and almost ran out of his room in his hurry to escape

Yohji.

" Be back by 6pm," yelled Yohji at the redhead’s

retreating back. Yohji was elated. He was a master

seducer and knew when he had someone. He had Aya.

Aya was angry with himself for reacting to Yohji. He

hated the fact that Yohji’s voice could make him lose

control of his body. Most of all he hated feeling

something for the bastard when Yohji had clearly

stated that he didn’t feel anything for him. He

couldn’t even hide in his room because the guy just

appeared out of nowhere. It scared the shit out of

him to wake up to Yohji in his room when Aya had been

sure to lock his door. Aya didn’t know where he was

going, he was just driving, and Yohji wanted him back

by 6pm. Aya checked his watch, it was a little after

10am. [I guess I can just go look around] and that’s

what he did.

Yohji was excited. He had convinced Omi to take Ken

out and spend as much time they could out. He had to

bribe Omi for it. The little cheat had managed to get

Yohji to pay for their dinner and movies. Yohji had

controlled his anger at Omi for pulling such a low

trick on him. Yet, it served its purpose, the house

was empty. It was about ten minutes before six and

he was patiently awaiting the arrival of the redhead.

Even though Aya had been angry, Yohji knew he would

come. It not out of curiosity it would be out of

duty. Aya had never been late to anything since he

had known him. A sound greeted Yohji from the kitchen

and sure enough there was the redhead raiding the

fridge for something to drink.

" You are on time," said Yohji quietly startling Aya.

" What are you doing there? Are you trying to give me

a heart attack?" snapped Aya. He had almost chocked

on the water he was drinking.

" That’s the idea," said Yohji giving Aya a sensual

smile. Aya’s brows knitted not fully understanding

what Yohji meant.

" Where is everybody?" asked Aya suddenly nervous.

" There out," said Yohji lazily. " Are you hungry?"

Aya nodded before turning to eye the door thinking of

escape. Yohji grabbed hold of his wrist before he

could run out.

" Come I cooked dinner," said Yohji sitting Aya on the

kitchen chair.

" You cooked?" asked Aya dumbfounded. He didn’t know

how to react to Yohji’s behavior.

" Yeah, I cooked," said Yohji serving Aya some pasta,

something Italian. Aya wasn’t sure exactly what it

was. It tasted good though. Still he liked the wine

so much better.

Yohji could see that Aya was a little drunk, not that

Yohji had planned on it. Nonetheless, it made it

easier for him to coax Aya into his bed.

" Did you like it?" asked Yohji as he was cleaning the

table.

" Yeah," said Aya. " You need help with that?"

" Sure," said Yohji eyeing Aya. The redhead was being

extremely nice. If it was going to take getting Aya

drunk for him to be nice Yohji was going to have to

seriously think about his budget.

After they were done with the dishes Yohji led Aya

into the living room.

" Aya I want to talk to you about earlier today," said

Yohji quietly.

" What about it?" asked Aya trying not to sound angry.

So this was what it was, Yohji felt guilty so he

cooked for him.

" I may not have been entirely truthful," said Yohji

leaning dangerously close to Aya. Aya backed up until

the arm of the sofa didn’t let him back up more.

" Do you want me to leave? Or you want me to stay?"

said Yohji leaning to brush his lips against Aya’s.

Aya lost his train of thought, " Umm…"

" Doesn’t matter," said Yohji grabbing hold of the

back of Aya’s head and kissing him. Aya didn’t know

what to do so he grabbed hold of Yohji’s shirt. Yohji

urged Aya with his tongue to open his mouth. Aya did,

Yohji could taste the sweet taste of the wine in Aya’s

lips. It was intoxicating.

Yohji broke off the kiss and started nuzzling on Aya’s

neck.

" If you want me to stop you just have to say so,"

said Yohji planting kisses on the redhead’s neck.

Aya’s only response was to tilt his head back to give

Yohji more space. Yohji smiled.

Aya knew he should get away from Yohji as fast as he

could but Yohji’s lips on his felt so good. When

Yohji had transferred his attentions to his neck, Aya

didn’t have the willpower left to push him off. Aya

wanted this but was too afraid to ask for it. He felt

Yohji starting to put his hand under his shirt and

caress his chest. Aya gasped into Yohji’s mouth when

the blonde started kissing him again while teasing his

nipples. Aya broke off the kiss because he needed

air.

" Not---not here…Omi …Ken," said Aya trying to say

something coherent but knew he wasn’t.

" I know," said Yohji. Yohji knew he should transfer

this to his room but he didn’t want to let Aya go. So

he decided to carry the redhead to his room.

" Wha…Yohji put me down!" snapped Aya angry. " Let me

go! I am not a woman and I won’t be carried like

one!" said Aya trying to squirm free of Aya’s hold.

When Yohji reached his room he dropped Aya

unceremoniously on his bed and bent to take the

redhead’s shirt off.

" Yohji…" but Yohji didn’t let him finish instead

kissed Aya with bruising force. He broke off the kiss

to trail kisses all over Aya’s neck and chest.

" You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this," said

Yohji grinding the bulge in his pants against Aya’s.

The redhead gasped at the feeling pulling at Yohji’s

shirt. Yohji took it off and returned his attentions

to Aya.

" Yohji…but you said…you were leaving…" gasped Aya

looking at Yohji.

" I lied," said Yohji smiling and bent to put his

tongue into Aya’s navel making the latter arch off the

bed.

" Let’s take these off of you," said Yohji teasingly

starting to unbutton Aya’s pants. Aya gasped when the

pants brushed against his erection.

" Today you were teasing me," said Yohji starting to

tease Aya’s erection by touching it over the

underwear.

" What?" gasped Aya when Yohji touched him again.

Youji took hold of Aya’s hands and tied them over his

head on the headboard.

" Let’s keep them here," said Yohji still teasing Aya.

" Yohji…." but his thought was lost when Yohji remove

his underwear.

" You undressed in front of me knowing I couldn’t

touch you. You are going to pay for that," said Yohji

getting up to remove the rest of his clothes. When he

returned he made sure to press his erection on top of

Aya’s, Aya gasped and tried to kiss him but Yohji

would have none of it. He was going to fully enjoy

the redhead. He kissed Aya’s neck before biting hard

enough to draw blood and then kissing over it. Now

everybody would know that Aya belonged to him.

" Yohji…" begged Aya. Aya didn’t have to beg so much

because Yohji was desperate to be buried inside of

him. Yohji trailed kisses until he reached Aya’s

manhood and took it into his mouth. Aya arched and

gave a cry of pure pleasure when he felt the heat of

Yohji’s mouth envelop him. Yohji smiled at the sounds

he was eliciting from his usually quiet lover.

" Yohji…please…I-I want you…" said Aya breathlessly.

That request made him painfully hard and he knew he

wanted desperately to be in Aya. Inserting a finger

into Aya’s opening he started stretching him. He let

up from what he was doing to Aya to lubricate his

member and fingers. Inserting two lubricated fingers

he stretched Aya searching for that spot that was

bound to make Aya lose control. When Aya’s eyes

snapped open and he arched off the bed, Yohji knew he

had found it.

" Yohji…please…" begged Aya. Yohji answered quickly

by penetrating Aya to the hilt and rubbing against

that sweet spot in Aya. They started building a

rhythm and Yohji could feel Aya’s erection rubbing

against both their bellies. Aya’s body started to

shake and Yohji knew the redhead wouldn’t last very

long.

" Aya open your eyes. I want to see you when you

come," said Yohji kissing the redhead’s neck. Aya

opened his eyes and Yohji hit his spot a few more time

before the redhead came hard. Yohj stopped moving to

see Aya come. When Aya was done Yohji started moving

eliciting a gasp from Aya. He kept pumping into Aya

until the redhead was hard again and when Yohji

orgasmed, Aya orgasmed with him a second time. Yohji

waited a few moments for his breathing to get back to

normal before he pulled out of the redhead and hugged

him.

" Yohji…why did you say you were leaving?" asked Aya

suddenly. Yohji cracked an eye open to look at his

beautiful lover. His face was coated with sweat and

his hair was sticking to his face.

" So I could know what you really felt about me," said

Yohji kissing Aya. Aya rested his head on Yohji’s

chest at the moment not minding the closeness.

" It worked," said Aya after an extended silence.

" I know," said Yohji smiling into Aya’s hair. " Ai

shiteiru."

" Ai—ai—me too," said Aya finally falling asleep.

Yohji smiled. It would take some time but right that

was all he had.

OWARI

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