As You See Me.. (10).
Disclaimer: Same as in previous
Pairing: Yohji x Aya/Ran
Warnings: Yaoi, Shounen-ai, Violence, Angst, Language, AU
Two shots of Jack helped to settle Yohji's frayed nerves before the story even started. He figured he was going to be totally blitzed when he was done with the retelling of his sordid past. The blond looked at his lover and gave a weak smile, "I guess I should start with the beginning…"
Ran only nodded and set the katana on the table between them.
Leaning back in the chair, the singer stared at the ceiling for a moment, "I used to live with my mom. Back then, money was always really tight. Dad left, she never said why, and I was stuck as man of the house early."
Yohji came forward and poured another shot, "I did what I could at first… it sucked. Nobody wanted to hire a kid like me. Too scrawny or whatever…" He took his pack of cigarettes and drew one from the box, lighting it quickly, "I scratched, scrimped, and saved. It didn't work. Finally, someone very important grew fond of me and I somehow ended up under his employ."
The blond inhaled off of the smoke before meeting Ran's eyes, "I wasn't his only pet assassin. He had another… about my age… named Schuldig." Yohji shook his head, "We worked together a lot… trained when we needed to sharpen our edges. Then, one night, our working relationship changed. He… he showed me a few things I'd never even dreamed."
Yohji sighed, "We became lovers when I was fourteen and he was fifteen. We were already in an adult occupation, so to speak. Death is not something children should associate with… It only seemed natural, I guess, that we became so close."
Another shot, another sigh, "Over the next three years, Schuldig became really possessive. If anybody who wasn't one of the boss' staff even looked at me with any interest, they usually wound up dead. I started to rethink my position in life… wondered if there was any chance for salvation. All I really had was Schuldig and music… and I only really wanted the music."
"I tried so hard to break it off easy, but he wouldn't hear anything I said." Yohji took another pull off the cigarette, "Kept asking how I could do this to him, as I recall. I tried to tell him that I couldn't do any of it anymore… The fight was interrupted by the boss. He wanted me to take out a nosy private investigator named Asuka." The singer's hands started shaking as he looked at Ran, hoping he wasn't making a really big mistake.
Face unreadable, the redhead gave him a nod to continue.
"I tracked her down… got ready to make the kill… and something in her eyes stopped me." Yohji let his mind drift back to that moment briefly before shaking it off, "She started talking to me, convinced me to stay with her, told me that I really could have my own life and find redemption." He smiled ruefully, "I believed her. I stayed with her. I was seventeen."
"What happened then?"
"It took about a month for Schuldig to find me. I was out, doing some legwork for Asuka, and when I got back - she was lying on the floor, bleeding. That was when Schuldig appeared. Told me that he could forgive me, basically."
Yohji snorted, "I told him that there was a difference in what we were doing and living. I wanted to have a life of my own for once." The cigarette was starting to burn, forgotten, until he looked down at his hands and then inhaled the last bits from it, "He said that I'd best stay alone then, cause I would end up that way eventually. It was a threat. Schuldig intended to kill anyone I got close to."
Ran looked down at the sword on the table, "What about your mother? What happened to her?"
"… Schuldig."
The redhead rose from his seat at the table and went around behind Yohji, slipping his arms over the narrow shoulders, "I'm sorry."
Yohji's hands rose and caressed his wrists, "It wasn't your fault… but, I'm sorry for bringing this into your life." His head bowed, "It's my problem. My horrible past that won't die. I should have left you alone after you recovered."
The teen shook his head, "I don't care. I'm staying with you." At the surprised look on his lover's face, Ran smiled, "You've been through enough… I want to make sure you keep living."
"I was a monster, Ran… I *killed* people for *money*," Yohji growled, "How can you say that?"
"'To hell with the scars and fuck the past', right?" The youth quoted Yohji's words verbatim, "You gave me a chance… I can't leave now." Ran lowered his mouth to the singer's ear, "I won't bail on you when you really need me. I care about you too much to do that."
Twisting, Yohji pulled the redhead down into his arms and held him tightly, "What… Just what in God's name did I do to deserve you?" He didn't give Ran a chance to answer, though, before leaning down and planting a kiss on waiting lips.
Hands worked up into the golden hair and young Ran was so suddenly lost in the feel and taste of Yohji Kudou. He never seemed to get enough of the kisses that the blond was so skilled at. He hoped fervently that his lover wasn't so downtrodden that he couldn't show him just how much he appreciated him.
Reluctantly, Yohji broke the kiss and pulled back, "I need to get the bodies out of the house, Ran. I don't think it's a good idea to keep them here, you know?"
Ran nodded slowly, not wanting to be slammed back into reality so quickly. He ran gentle fingers over Yohji's lips, "Hurry… I…" There was a dark blush staining his cheeks, "I want you… soon." After the deaths that had occurred, he couldn't fathom why he was suddenly so greedy for passion.
Yohji understood though, "Don't be ashamed. After being exposed to death like this, it's natural for your body to want to do something associated with living for a little while. I think that's what caused Schuldig and I to end up as bedmates." He lifted Ran off his lap, "Go ahead and get upstairs. I'm going to get the bodies out and make a quick phone call."
As the youth complied, Yohji sat for a moment and lit another cigarette. Something about Ran's behavior was bugging him. He had been too calm after killing the woman. Most people who'd never done something like that would be freaking out, but Ran was… disturbing him. Obviously the youth had either been too close to it for it to bother him like it should or…
Or Ran had done it himself at least once and reconciled it in his own mind.
Yohji finally came up after nearly an hour, but the redhead's ardor hadn't cooled off. Ran was on him quickly, licking at his throat and rubbing against him like a cat to a tree. The blond couldn't stop and think, it just felt so good. He clutched the youth to him, driving his mouth down on those sweetly soft lips, and decided to just let it go for the moment.
They tumbled into the bed, arms and legs entwined as their lips slanted across each other. Yohji could feel his open shirt being pushed off his shoulders and tilted them back to make it easier. He gave a tormented noise as his nipples were licked and bitten to agonizing pebbles, his breath coming in quick gasps. Even worse, Ran's fingers were already digging into his pants to secure a grip on his hardening cock, tugging it and stroking it in the desperate need to get it to full length.
Moving Ran over him, the singer pushed the youth's shirt above his head, "God… You are so beautiful…"
"I don't care about foreplay this time, Yohji," came the redhead's frantic whisper, "I need you inside of me… now." Ran hadn't been able to stop teasing himself while the musician had been gone.
Yohji grunted when lube was applied to his cock, then the youth flipped him over and was trying to straddle him. Finally, he managed enough presence of mind to grasp the slim hips before the goal was achieved, "Stop, Ran… You need prepping first."
"No… I want you… I don't want to wait. I've gone without prep before. You're slick enough," Ran said softly, "I'll be alright." He leaned down and gave Yohji a sweetly passionate kiss, "Just take it slow and I'll be fine…"
The singer didn't justify Ran with an answer. Quickly, he used his better strength to get the youth on his back and delved into the nightstand nearby, "In the past, you might have gone without, but you're with me now… I'm not going to risk hurting you." His hand came back triumphantly with a small tube, "Now… You're going to lie there while I torture you with this evil, evil stuff that keeps me from wincing at a dry entry."
Ran gave a cry as slicked fingers invaded him just a few moments later, the feel of them barely brushing against his sweet spot and just enough to drive him mad. He arched his hips, lifted them off the bed, twisted them in an attempt to assuage the needy void in him - all to no avail… Yohji was too skilled at what he was doing.
An eternity later, he felt his lover move over him and opened his eyes to gaze up at the blond. Yohji was staring down at him, all kinds of sweet and gentle emotions in his eyes. Ran wondered himself just how he'd gotten so lucky as to have found a man like this. Someone who would take *his* well-being into account rather than take what he could from him. He lifted his long legs around the slim waist and smiled, "You're taking too long, Yohji…"
The blond smiled back and chuckled, "Maybe to you, but I learned over the last few years to appreciate what I was given and savor it." Tilting his hips, the singer did, finally, press his cock to his young lover's opening and felt the surrender as his length was taken in slowly. The scrape of the tight ring around him was heavenly, "God…"
With a moan, Ran arched up and used his grip around Yohji's waist to angle himself so that the hot, hard flesh could slide into him fully. It felt so good, so perfect, "Yoh-ji…"
Splaying one hand at the small of the redhead's back, the singer held him just like that while the other hand continued to brace him over the taut frame. He looked down at Ran, seeing his face twisted in so many different shades of rapture, and couldn't hold back from giving that first thrust.
"YohjiYohjiYohjiYohji," his name fell from the young man's lips like a mantra, repeated over and over in husky, impassioned tones. The willowy man closed his eyes, savoring the union between them like fine wine aged to perfect flavor. Then, Yohji started thrusting and both of them fell away from the world at large around them.
Sobbing and crying out at the way his body sang from his lover's sweet invasion, Ran pushed back so that he could meet each thrust half-way. When he found lips on his, the redhead attacked them greedily, drawing in Yohji's moans and offering his own. Time was losing all meaning to him. So long as this new world held the singer within it, he couldn't care about anything else.
It was all coming on way too quickly for Yohji, but he couldn't slow it down to save his life. The night had been too intense, too filled with the possibility of death, and he was too desperate for the solace of Ran's physical offering. All thoughts and fears were blasted away by the intangible feeling of oneness that he had to hold onto.
Yohji was a hopeless, helpless addict.
They ascended and hit their zenith at the same time, peaking with shouts and cries and long, shuddery moans. Breath could be barely captured to nourish their lungs long enough to whisper things that might not have been said otherwise. Kisses that were tired, but pleasant, and shared between them as both fell back to the soft surface of the bed below.
Ran brushed sweaty tendrils of golden hair from the other man's forehead as the comfortable aftermath settled over them. He summoned enough strength to lift his head, putting his swollen lips to the musician's ear and uttered a soft declaration.
"I… I love you, Kudou Yohji."