Title: Colours of My Life

Author: Sardius

Category: Romance/Angst

Warnings: R for now (NC-17 later)

Pairings: Yohji/Aya(Ran) and hints of Brad/Schu

Disclaimer: I don’t own Weiss Kreuz, it belongs to its creator and company. (sobs) if only they were mine….sniff sniff

Author’s Note: Thankyou for everyone's reviews~~~ I am very happy to hear from you all. *grins* Sorry this part took awhile to come out due to uni started and just changed my course so ya me am VERY busy. But I have designer’s block!!!!!!! Is that how u say it? Heh so instead of thinking what to draw to hand in to my lecturer next week I thought I’ll be more productive and write my fic. (hides under desk) Okay.... better get onto the fic. Yeah I feel sorry for poor Ran too.....but I'm feeling evil so he's has to suffer more! kekekeke.....here it is..... O.o;

I hp this part was okay…I only read it once to check for spelling and grammers. Gomen.

Oh yeah and special cookies delivery to Pixie518 for being my 50th reviewer…hehehe those of u that likes FF8 she writes great fics so go read it!

// // Mind Talking

Fujimiya Ran

I tried to shift my body to see better but every movement seem to sent pain in my head. I cannot really remember what happen. Am I dead? Is this what it feels like to be dead? In a cold dark room full of nothingness?

But yet I can feel where I am....I seem to be sitting in a bed. In a room of some sort. A very dark room. Maybe it's night time and the lights are off.....maybe....

This room smells very familiar. Like when I visit Aya at the hospital…. Hospital?!… Why would I be in a hospital? I tried to get up but something seem to be attaching to my wrist. I tried to shake it off and felt my way though the bed when someone called my name.

"Aya? Oh God Aya you’re awake! Just wait here and I'll get Yohji and the doctor to come!"

"Omi? Wait!" But my voice only came out as a whisper. Before I can get any answer out of him the kid seem to have gone. What’s going on? Why is it so dark in here? Don't they at least leave some lights on?…. Lights on? How....how come Omi can see me and I can't see him? Oh god! What's happening?

Fear seems to crush throughout my body. Every instinct told me something is terribly wrong. I began breathing harshly. My mind hurts. My eyes hurt….everything seems wrong! What's going on. I panic.

Steady arms hold onto to me as I tried to get up from the bed. Hands gradually push me down...pinning me onto my back.

"Aya? It's okay...it's me Yohji."

"What the fuck is going on here?" I croaked.

He grabs onto my arm as I tried to struggle against his grip. I just know I have to get out of here. Anything but here. I tried to focus but everything before me was nothing but a vast scenes of darkness. His grips tightened around me, his fingers gripping onto my shoulders so hard that it hurts.

"Aya....look....calm down. Just listen to me okay."

"NOOO! How can I calm down.....tell me what the fuck is going on right now Yohji!"

My throat hurts from my outburst bringing tears to my eyes. I pushed him away from me as I try to scramble out of bed. I wanted to scream, to run, to cry....anything....I just want this dream to end. I grabbed onto my hair...pulling the bundles of strands, ignoring the pain already aching in my head.

"AYA! Stop! You're hurting yourself!"

And suddenly I was wrapped in his warm arms. His arms circling round my waist clutching onto my shoulders. I felt so tired...so weak...everything hurts so much. I layed in the circle of his arms as my breathing calms back to normal. I felt sleepy…. Maybe this is just a dream. I am dead.

"Aya....." He whispered softly. His breath tickling my ear. "Please listen to me. You.... you had a accident." He paused, waiting for me to let him continue. " You were shot in the head by Schuldig on our mission....."

Yes...that's it.... the mission...... Schuldig ...he was there. I was killing my target and everything blew up and he was there. He was there....why....

// Goodbye Fujimiya Ran //

"Aya….I….look…..You were very lucky to be alive. The doctor said it had almost killed you dull to extreme blood loss and the bullet almost hit your nerve system. You need to rest for the next few weeks…..

His voice was soothing against my ear as he tightens his arms around me further. Such sadness in his voice…… I don’t really want to know the truth.

"Yohji…." I whispered. "Tell……tell me the truth."

"Aya….."

"Tell. Me"

Silences fill the dead air, deafening my ears. Yohji holds onto me tightly still, not letting go. I can feel his heartbeat as I layed against his arms....I know the answer he is going to give me. He’ll just tell me it's just a dream and things will be okay again. We'll go back home, go to sleep, wake up the next day and be Weiss again. Everything is alright.......

……but his voice brought me back to reality. The feeling of this dark room....as he whispered in my ear.

"He said......he said because it damaged your retinas...... you maybe temporary blind."

And the world froze.

"Aya…."

"Get. Out." I hissed.

"Aya please….don’t push me away."

"I said GET OUT! GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!!"

I tried pushing him away. Anything to get him away. I know he’s just feeling sorry for me. Help me? He wants to help me? How can he help me?! HOW? I struggled…my arms feels so weak. My head hurts so much. I felt dizzy. I felt sick….God……how I want to die.

"Mr Kudou please wait outside. We will handle it from here."

I felt something on my arm. Like a needle and my whole body starts to warm up. I feel light-headed…. so tired….so tired of everything.

The tears trickled down my cheek as I welcome the darkness enveloping me

* * * * * * *

I waited outside his room sitting on the bench. Nurses and patients were walking about down the hallway but everything seems to have vanished in my eyes. All I can think of is Aya. He looked so pale. So weak. His eyes usually held the spark of fire and anger was gone. It was dull and lifeless. His amethyst eyes were still there but it did not sparkle with the same intensity as before. Watching him hurts. Does he know how much it hurts to see him like this? To see him in so much pain?

I shakily brought my hands to my face and wished this whole nightmare would just go away. What the hell am I meant to do now? I don't even know how to act around him when he's...god....I feel so fucking useless, just watching him in agony.

A hand was pressed on my shoulder as I looked up to see Ken and Omi standing beside me. They must have heard Aya's outburst minutes ago. Fuck....they probably heard everything.

"Yohji..." Ken shifted and sat beside me. " I know this is going to be hard on all of us but I just want you to know me and Omi will be here if you need us. I will contact Manx and tell her what had happen so there is no need to worry about it now..…..maybe you should…."

"It was Schuldig " I hissed.

"Nani?"

"Yohji-kun what are you talking about?" asked Omi as he and Ken looked confusingly to each other.

I looked up at both of them. Starring into their eyes. For some reason, something seems to spark inside myself, something I have always known this feeling of since the death of Asuka. Revenge. I wanted them to pay. I wanted to know the reason why Schuldig had wanted to kill Aya. I want him to feel the pain he caused.

"Yohji-kun....are you alright?"

Omi's bright blue eyes looked at me in concern. There was a sense of fear in those wide blue orbs but was quickly vanished. Ken glanced at me in puzzled as he met my gaze and waited till passer by walked past before he spoke.

"What did Schuldig do? What actually happen on the mission?"

I cringed at his comments. I didn't tell them everything when I brought Aya to the hospital. I just said he was shot during the mission and needed help immediately. They have the right to know the truth....but even I don't know the truth except.....maybe Aya.

" Schuldig was the one that shot Aya during the mission"

"NANI?"

Both Ken and Omi got up from their seat and starred at me.

"Yohji why the hell didn't you tell us?" Ken stated angrily.

I looked away from his piercing stare. Somehow I felt guilty for not telling them sooner. I should have told them straight away. We are Weiss. We need to trust each other.

"I....I'm sorry. I was just so worry about Aya...I guess I forgot to even tell you guys."

'Its okay Yohji-kun. We understand." Omi looks pleadingly at Ken. "Tell us. What exactly happened during the mission."

Thanks Omi. I own you one. I took a deep breath. "I'm not even sure myself. Aya and I separated during the mission. I was to be his backup. We saw the target and Aya charged then everything else just exploded." I closed my eyes as I shivered from the memory "There was guards everywhere....I was trying to find Aya and.....and the next thing I saw was Schuldig holding Aya by the hair and pointing the gun to his head." Tears started to blur my vision...."then....then he just pulled the trigger and Aya was dead....I mean I thought he was....that's….that’s when I tried to contact Omi."

There was a long silence as I finished my story. Somehow...I did not want to tell them everything. Not with my encounter with Schuldig before he left….not what he called Aya before he shot him. It was something I felt I was not willing to share with anyone....even if it's my own team mates.

"Schuldig …. That bastard!" Ken smacked his fist together. "We need to find out exactly what Schwarz is up to. Until then we have to make sure we stick together. Omi and I will talk to Manx and Birman about this…..so just make sure Aya’s okay…."

There was fire in Ken’s eyes as he spoke. So typical of him. The kind hearted boy. He’ll always protect the people he care most about….

I actually smiled at that thought. Aya….he’s never going to be okay. Not now. Not ever.

"Yohji…." Omi looks seriously at me. "Be strong. If you can’t even do that, then at least try to be for Aya….he might not want it Yohji….but he needs it like you need him."

I sighed. I would really like a smoke now. "I’ll be alright. Don’t worry about me. You guys go home….I want to stay here for a little while longer okay."

"Umm….Okay….well ring us if anything happens."

I watched them leave as I went back to Aya room. The doctor has just left telling me its okay to go inside. I stood in front of the door and starred at the figure lying on the bed, watching as his breath rises slowly up and down from his chest…his silky crimson hair spread out on the pillow. So still. So quiet.

I shut the door quietly behind me and padded my way beside Aya. So beautiful even when he’s asleep. So peaceful. I slowly wiped the tears from his eyes and kissed his forehead lightly.

* * * * * *

A smirked lingered on the German’s lips as he watched the blond assassin walked inside the room. He shifted until he was outside the door watching his target in deep slumber. His grin widens. His fingers touched the cool handle, beckoning the door to open as he step quietly inside, the door clicked shut softly behind him.

// Hello again Kitten…….//

Yohji froze.

~TBC~

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