Title: Colours of My Life
Author: Sardius
Category: Romance/Angst
Warnings: NC-17
Pairings: Yohji/Aya(Ran)
Disclaimer: I don’t own Weiss Kreuz, it belongs to its creator and company. (sobs) if only they were mine….sniff sniff
Author’s Note: Hey. I must apologise. This was such a LATE post. I am assured most of you are still shock starring at the screen. Yes…it is a new chapter, and yes Sardius is still continuing the damn thing. Sigh…I want to thankyou all of you that left me some wonderful comments about this fic as to tell u the truth I had given up on it at some point cos I couldn't think of how to go about it again. But after many ppl requested I should continue this and me feeling so terrible about it, I forced myself to really sit down and write it out this time.
And why am I writing this again? Because I promised Aisha and Nekojita I will and Sardius always keeps her words. Hee. (Well also to get away from FM, which turn out as a diaster!) Let me tell u writing triangle fics is NO GOOD!
Character’s Thoughts
Chapter Eleven: The Last Time
Somehow during everything that passes through my mind, I could not stop looking at the beautiful redhead I had fallen in love with. The way that his lashes brushes upon his wet cheeks, his eyes clouded in amethyst mists, his silky hair sliding along my face. It was everything I had ever wanted in my life. To protect him from all harm. To let him know somehow I would never betray him.
I want to treasure him forever.
Even so, I sense the sadness in his heart. It had hurt to see the fire that sparkled so much in him to become a thin wist of smoke, banished and fading away like memories. As I held him in my arms, he clanged to me as if he were a child afraid of the shadows at night. I whispered soothing voices in his ears as I carried him off the wooden floor and laid him down on the soft mattress.
Show me Yohji. Show me.
"Let me Ran. Let me show you what love is really about. Let me make love to you."
It was then he opened his eyes. The eyes I had fallen in love with when he had first waken up in my bed that morning. When I had realised my life would change because of him. Those eyes that held the fire, that burning hatred, pain and fear, so much I remembered I had turned away from them. Now as I look into his dull amethyst eyes, the pain I can still see clearly, can still feel as I see my own reflection in them.
"Yohji….I.."
I placed my finger on those soft parted lips. I know he is trembling in fear. Yet I am much more afraid than he is…so much more afraid of losing him again.
Never want to let you go.
"Don’t say anything. Just trust me."
Yes it was such a big thing to ask for Aya. But during everything that we had being through in the pass few months, it somehow shocks me how much trust he is placing in me right now.
I kiss those parted lips and continue to remove my shirt as I trailed down wet kisses along his neck and chest. His skin was cool to touch yet each step we made brought us closer together. He panted softly against my ear as I trailed down my fingers along his abdomen and nuzzled my face against his hair.
Somehow during our passionate state, our clothes slowly disappeared bit-by-bit leaving our two bodies clutching onto each other. Aya was lying beneath me, his eyes tightly closed. I kissed his eyelids softly, my fingers flickering along his nipples as he moaned breathlessly into my mouth. His body was shivering, whether from the pleasure I was making him feel or his fears for accepting me into his heart.
We continued to kiss and explore each other bodies; Aya's hands will subconsciously traced patterns along my back and brushing them softly on my face. It as like he was memorising each detail slowly into his mind. We began to thrust against each other; brushing our erections together, causing us to moan in pleasure.
I reached down and grasp his arousal, pumping it in time with our movements. Aya gasps in pleasure; his head titled back exposing his pale neck to me. I leaned down and kissed his naked flesh as I grabbed the lube under the pillow and began coating my fingers with it.
Tears were still flowing in Aya's eyes. I licked the salty tears away as I brushed a finger upon his opening.
"Yohji!…."
He's sniffing loudly now. Holding on to me as if I would leave him. I whispered soothing voices in his ear, and continue to stoke his arousal as I added a second finger. He was so warm inside. So tight, I was so much afraid of hurting him as I stretched him using my fingers.
Aya was gasping in pleasure, in pain, in fear? His brows were knitted closely together. It was so hard to tell what he was feeling; even when he did had his sight before. I droved my tongue into his mouth again as I added my third finger, brushing along his prostrate as he cried out next to me.
"Please Yohji. Please…make me forget. Make me forget everything."
He's whimpering now, as he thrust himself deeper onto my fingers. I withdrew them slowly as I coated my own cock and steadied myself above him.
"Aya love. Look at me. Please look at me."
He's crying now. God…it hurts my heart to see him break so easily as he shakes his head refusing to open his eyes.
"Can't…why bother? No…nothing to see but darkness. Want to see you so…"
I slowly nudge myself into his opening. He gasps and trembles beneath me as I spoke to him again.
"You can. You can see me…open your eyes and you will. Trust me…. love. Picture me in your mind and open your eyes. I can show you. Show you to see again."
Aya gasped as I whispered soothing voices against his ear, brushing away the tears threatening to leak out. I was so afraid to hurt him as I waited till he relax beneath me and pushed the rest of the way in until I was fully sheathed inside his body.
"Yohji!"
"Shhh…it's okay. I got you. I won't let you fall."
He was so warm…and god so tight. I could see his brows tightened in pain and slowly sooths out as the pleasure had taken over. I kissed those cool parted lips, thrusting my tongue ever so slowly, licking, sucking and shifting my body until we are closely connected together.
"Beautiful. You are so beautiful Aya. Open your eyes for me love."
Show me your eyes.
Aya shook his head slightly but I urge him to trust me as I kissed his closed eyelids gently. Briefly I saw his lashes fluttering slowly as he opened his eyes, the tears making them luminous against his pale skin. It was a dark misty pool of violet, searching for me. Its pupils no longer moving but it still held that sense of beauty. The eyes I had fallen in love with for so many years.
I gently preyed myself out of his tight opening and thrust gently all the way in again. Aya gasped and called out my name, clutching his hands onto my arms as I grasped his hands and placed them onto my face.
"Can you? Can you see me love?"
His eyes widened in surprised and he smiled so beautifully at me, I long to treasure this forever.
"Yes…still so beautiful. Dark strands of blonde hair, your eyes…eyes still so green. So nice."
His fingers softly brushed upon my lips. "And you still have that annoying grin on your face. "
I smirked. "Well love, one could never get rid of it that easily."
Aya seems to chuckle a bit at the comment as he continued to trace the pattern along my face whispering all the things he could see. I grabbed onto one of his hands and brought his fingers to my lips, kissing the tips ever so softly as I started to thrust into him more forcefully.
"Yohji…god…so deep."
Every moan and soft feathering touches I remembered so clearly as I made love to my beautiful redhead. I kissed those panting lips as I grabbed onto his hips and continued to make him gasps in pleasure as I began to lay kisses along his neck, marking him as mine. We moved together as one, our bodies rocking against each other, our hands touching every part of our skins, the passion flaring up as the moment almost reached its peak.
I laced our fingers together as the sweat broke forth between our bodies, reaching down to grasp his erection and stroking it in time with the thrust.
"Ran love. Remember this. Always remember I will…. always be with you."
Aya's eyes tightened up closely as his head thrash onto the side, his lips panting in quick shivery breaths as his hips jerked up to meet thrust while I aimed for his prostate.
His cries were so beautiful it only made me love him all the more.
"Hnnn….Yohji…yes… yes….always remember. Never forever. Never."
Brows tightened in pleasure, I thrust harder and faster into that beautiful willing body as my hand continued to pump him into release.
"Come for me Ran. Open those beautiful eyes and search for me." I whispered huskily.
"Yohji!….I…arrghh."
It was those few split seconds that I realised what the real Fujimiya Ran was like. He was like a canary caged in a forgotten forest, lost forever by the thirst and revenge that had possessed Aya. And it was a beautiful sight to set it free. To see the canary finally broke forth from the cage and flew swiftly into the sky.
Aya released himself upon me, coating my hands and stomach as I gritted my teeth and thrust into his tight clenching muscles, spilling deep inside my lover.
We lay together as our harsh breathings filled the silent room. I kissed him again and pulled myself slowly out of his body as he gasped slightly.
He was shivering beneath me as I grabbed one of my shirts on the floor and cleaned us up, throwing the cloth in the hamper. I spooned up behind Aya and wrapped him up in my arms as we lay there listening to the peace and silence that have so comfortably surrounded us.
I stroke my fingers through his soft soaked crimson hair knowing Aya wasn't asleep facing away from me. I only hope to god he didn't think this was a mistake as I spoke up, breaking the silence in the stilled room.
"Tomorrow night. Tomorrow night the real fight will begin."
Aya stiffens beside me knowing what I had meant. During the past week, Omi have contacted Manx already and our mission was to stop a drug dealer who would be holding an organization about this new drug they were going to market in Japan. Yet the problem was, Schwarz would be there as body guards to protect the man.
And I intend to kill mastermind.
"Tomorrow night." Aya murmured.
"Aya?"
The redhead just shook his head and buried himself into the pillow deeper. I wanted to know what he was thinking, but knowing Aya he would never tell me and I would just have to figure it out myself.
"It's okay Yohji….it's okay."
Part of me tells me it's not okay but I didn’t want to worry about it at the moment. As I lay in the darkness I wonder if it would be the last night I get to hold Aya in my arms. Would I die tomorrow facing Schwarz? And what about Aya? I would never want to leave him alone.
I wished this night would just stretch on forever, wishing if only our lives were just four simple florists working in the shop, rather than assassins filling our hands with blood.
Aya shifted beside me and I know he hasn't fallen asleep.
"Yohji…I…"
He continued to face away from me as he tried to stumble the words out of his lips.
"I…Yohji…I.."
I pulled him up tighter against me, drawing the blankets up to cover his shivery form. "It's okay love. You don't need to say it."
He seems to relax then as he nuzzled back against me. I smiled sadly behind his mop of crimson hair knowing what he was trying to say. I don't need him to say it for I already known that his heart belongs to me.
Maybe one day you can say it back to me without any regret Aya.
I shifted our bodies in a more comfortable position and rested my chin against his head, whispering the words back to him that he long to say to me.
"I love you too."
* * * * * *
It was long past midnight as I lay there in his warmth, his arms wrapped securely around me, holding me close. Tomorrow night all things will end and I…I longed to tell him the news I have kept so bottled up inside me. But now it is not the time.
Tomorrow night the real fight will begin
Yes. The real fight will begin and I do not intend my team to die out there. Even if it will cost me my life, I swear to protect them.
And I don't want to lose you.
I shifted my body until I was facing him, feeling his breath on my cheek. The darkness has once again descended upon me as I touched his lips very softly and whispered the words he long to hear before.
"Ashiteru"
I know he was still asleep as I said this to him but maybe he might hear it in his dreams and know that tonight I have finally confess to myself that Fujimya Ran loves Kudou Yohji.
I smiled sadly in the darkness as I ponder at the words I have just spoken.
The love had being there all along.
I had just being afraid to take it.
* * * * * *
TBC~~~~~