Disclaimers: I do not own Weiss Kreuz or any of its characters. If
you see this fic and want to sue me the only thing you will get will
be my anime collection, cuz I have no money (
Author: Max Ikari
Pairings: Yohji/Aya, Schuldich/Aya
Warnings: NC-17, Lemon, non-consensual sex, violence, adult language,
etc.
[] Inner thoughts
/Mind talking/
The Devil's Own
Chapter 10
# Swimming off Cape Hatteras#
After an inland winter
My flesh falls off
Like the glad lover's underwear.
Safely among the netting bones
My blood swims with the sea.
William Matthews.
Aya! Aya can you hear me? You will be okay. Hold on!
Aya-kun..
Aya hold on.
A faint laugh escapes my lips. I feel so lightheaded, almost like
floating. Floating into a void. Maybe I should be afraid, but
strangely I am not. Not afraid of the darkness that surrounds me
because there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
"What's wrong with him?" asked Yohji visibly frustrated. " Should it
take that long for him to wake up?"
" There seems to be a problem?" replied Dr. Kinomura. " He's fall
into a coma."
" A what?!" screamed Yohji. Ken got in between Yohji and the Dr. to
calm down his teammate. "Yohji." said Ken before turning to face
the Doctor. " I don't understand. Why would Aya fall into a come
because of a bullet wound?"
" Trauma, shock, escape, there are so many things," said Dr.
Kinomura. " You have to understand that his body is okay. We
removed the bullet and it will heal cleanly, however, I can't say the
same thing about Mr. Fujimiya's mind. Many patients fall into a coma
to escape the trauma of the incident or their lives. How long the
patient remains in a coma depends on how long it takes the patient to
be able to deal."
Omi was crying in a chair in the corner, " This-this can't happen."
Yohji was silently staring at the room where Aya was.
" So-so what can we do?" asked Ken trying to control his emotions.
" Talk to him as if he were awake," said Dr. Kinomura, " Patients can
hear. They understand what is going on around them. Your friend
will hopefully come out of it faster if you talk to him. I am sorry."
" Can we see him?" asked Yohji. The blondes eyes were brimming with
tears held back. He was trying to be strong and failing miserably.
" Of course, follow me," said Dr. Kinomura. The room they had Aya in
looked comfortable enough. It had more color than the pale
occupant. Aya looked as if he were already dead. He had a bluish
pallor on his lips. He was hooked to Iv tubes, respirators and brain
scanners all to keep him alive. The doctor left the room after Weib
entered it. Omi and Ken neared the redhead's bed whispering soft
assurances to him. The two boys had not seen what had actually
happened. They hadn't heard what Aya had said. Yohji had. Yohji
felt like a guilty man Yohji was surprised to find his hands
shaking, fearful that he was losing love again. The fates seemed
determined in not letting him feel love. The only feeling Yohji knew
by heart was loss. The loss of everything like what is happening
right now. Aya in a coma. It seems that everybody that bears that
name ends up in a coma.
" Aya-kun, the doctor says that you will be out of here in no time?"
said Omi smiling. " Right Ken-ken?"
" Sure thing," said Ken in between tears. " You just have to come
back to us, please. You are our family, please don't leave us." Ken
was openly sobbing now. The three of them well remembered what had
happened to Aya-chan.
" Omi, Ken please wait outside?" said Yohji quietly.
Ken and Omi exchanged knowing looks and silently walked outside.
Yohji stared a few moments before walking toward Aya's bed. [Is my
fault.]
Flashback
" Ran" said Crawford getting his gun out. Aya and Crawford
exchanged a glance, as if they understood what was going on.
Schuldich seemed to read Aya's mind because he started screaming even
before Crawford shot. Aya took a sidestep towards his left enough to
cover Yohji with his body. Everybody was staring at Crawford that
they missed that step, Yohji saw it. Next thing he knew Aya was
falling.
" Nooo!" screamed Yohji and put his hands out to catch his lover.
Aya was holding his middle. So much blood.
" Aya!" said Schuldich running towards the redhead. The German
crouched beside Yohji looking at Aya.
" Schuldich!" snapped Crawford. Schuldich seemed to read Crawford's
mind because he started to get up.
" Take care of him," whispered Schuldich into Yohji's ear before
getting up. It was startling how much emotion was in the German's
voice. So much that Yohji turned to look at the German and noticed
the pleading eyes, before the mask was back in place. Schuldich must
have said something to Aya because the latter answered that he was
okay. The German turned his back to them walking towards Crawford
and left.
" Call an ambulance!" screamed Yohji. At his voice Ken and Omi
snapped out of their shock and ran to call an ambulance and get
something to stop the bleeding.
" Aya it's okay," said Yohji smiling weakly at the man in his arms.
" Bullshit," snorted Aya playfully. " I think the bastard got me in
the liver, it's too much."
" No it's not. Just a scrape. You've lived through worse," said
Yohji brushing Aya's hair out to see the amethyst eyes.
" Funny. I wanted to live then," said Aya quietly. " Do you think I
will ever see Aya again?"
" Sure you will. But I don't think is your time yet," said Yohji.
" I remember the day my parents died. It was a day like this. I had
a nightmare that day about a dog I used to have. Genko a black
Labrador, died poisoned," said Aya as a coughing fit seized him. " I
was crying when I woke up and Aya cheered me up assuring me that
Genko was fine. That I should be happy. At the end of the day I was
an orphan."
" It was not your fault," said Yohji tears starting to slip his eyes.
" I know that now. It was a sign, a warning telling me that time was
up," replied Aya smiling weakly. " I had a nightmare today about my
family. My time is up."
" No, no it's not. You know why? Because you have friends that love
you. I love you. Fate isn't that cruel, " said Yohji trying to keep
his voice steady.
" Do.do you.remember what I told you about fate? You can't fight
fate." said Aya shaking.
" .you can only bend it," said Yohji noticing how Aya's eyes were
unfocusing.
" .well I-I think I have been in the bend long enough," said Aya
closing his eyes. " I am so cold."
" It's okay love. Help is on its way. Aya please hold on," pleaded
Yohji.
A faint laugh escaped the redhead's lips before the paramedics
arrived and took Aya from Yohji's arms.
" I am so sorry," whispered Yohji in Aya's ear. " You deserved so
much better. It seems that everyone I love dies saving me. I hope
you can hear me and know how much I love you. How much I want to
tell you. I know that you want to go and meet your family in the
afterlife. I know I am selfish and stubborn that is why I am begging
you not to go. Stay here with me."
The only answer that Yohji got was the beeping of monitors and things
that were connected to Aya.
# Dead Hand#
Temptations still nest it like basiliks.
Hang it up till the rings fall.
W.S. Merwin
Ran.
Ran.
Who is that?
Ran come to us.
Where are you? I can't see anything.
Just follow the tunnel.
Go to the light at the end of the tunnel.
Walk towards the end and I will see you.
Of course oniichan.we are al waiting for you
But I don't deserve you.
Still stubborn as always. Nothing was your fault.
It was my fault.
No Ran.
Okaasan.
I have wanted to tell you so many times.
I am an assassin.I have killed.
We all make mistakes.
Otousan.I am sorry
Don't cry Ran, you will always be our son.
I am so sorry..I am dirty, so dirty.
Not for us oniichan. You tried to save me.
And killed you in the end.
You freed me.
I-I freed you?
I only stayed because you wanted me to. I never thought I would make
you suffer so much.
You didn't.
I wanted to stay long enough for you to find a reason for living.
A reason for living?
Baka, you have it in front of you.
Who? Yohji?
Yes, Yohji!
But.but I don't deserve him.
You do. Go back to him.
Just let me rest a while. I am so tired.
Oniichan you must go.
Where are you?
Here.at the end of the tunnel.
There is light.but all I see is darkness. I am darkness.
" Aya please come back," pleaded Yohji. " Please. I know you hurt
but you have to be brave enough to live. Only cowards give up. You
never give up."
A slight knock at the door made him turn around. It was Omi.
" I am sorry Yohji-kun, but I only wanted to know if you wanted
anything to eat?" asked Omi quietly.
" No, no kiddo," said Yohji bringing a hand up to wipe at his eyes.
" Yohji-kun, don't give up on Aya," said Omi giving Yohji a
reassuring smile. " He is the strongest of all of us."
" I am not so sure," said Yohji quietly. " He always wanted to be
the strong one for us, but it was only a shell. The stronger the
shell the more vulnerable the inside is."
Omi remained standing in the shadows. " I am sorry I couldn't do
anything."
" Oh no Omi," said Yohji standing up to embrace the younger man. "
It was not your fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. It just comes a
time that a body reaches it's breaking point. This was Aya's."
Omi was sobbing into Yohji's shirt. " I just wish.I wish I had seen
it sooner. If Schwartz hadn't arrived."
" No Omi. Crawford didn't shoot to kill him. It's more like an
agreement, Aya knew the consequences," said Yohji " It was only a
matter of time."
" A matter of time." repeated Omi robotically. " And still Aya is on
a coma and there is nothing we can do about it!" Omi's frustration
manifested in the form of anger. He was angry at his helplessness.
There was nothing any of them could do for Aya, it all depended on
the redhead. Damn it.
" I know how you feel kiddo." thought Yohji.
" I am going to see him," stated Schuldich. " I can't get anything
from him."
" You are not going anywhere Schuldich," said Crawford quietly. " I
gave Aya a choice. This was his choice."
" You killed him!" screamed Schuldich.
" Why do you care? He was just one of your toys," replied Crawford
calmly. " Well, that is what you tell everybody isn't it?"
Schuldich stared at his leader. The German could feel the anger burn
his skin. Schuldich was afraid, afraid because he was feeling a
void, fear for Aya. Fear because the redhead didn't respond to him.
Schuldich was afraid of losing Aya and Crawford seemed to sense
that. Crawford was amused by the fact that he was fearing the death
of Aya.
" It seems that you got tangled in your own game," said Crawford with
an amused smile. " Everything is just as it is supposed to be."
" What do you mean by that?" asked Schuldich trying to calm
himself. " You foresaw all this?"
" What kind of a question is that? Of course I saw it. I also saw
you fall for the kitten and regret the moment you let your guard
down. You know that you feel something for the kitten but you are
not sure what it is. Let me help you, you love the kitten. I was
surprised by this vision, but I guess even demons fall in love.
Don't you agree?" said Crawford amused.
Schuldich could think. All of the sudden the room was too hot and he
needed to get out. Schuldich couldn't think with Crawford breathing
down his neck, laughing at him. But he needed to know. Needed to
know the outcome.
" Does---does he die?" asked Schuldich quietly. Crawford looked
surprised for a moment before the mask was back on. Maybe the
American didn't expect the telepath to ask.
" Yes, yes he does," said Crawford seriously before leaving Schuldich
by himself in the room.
Yohji turned and walked toward Aya's bed again looking how his lover
was being kept alive. Oh gods, the life of an assassin. This was
their punishment for taking so many lives. They were ounished by the
dead of the person they loved the most. In his case Aya. In Aya's
case Aya-chan. Ouka was killed because of her connection to Omi and
Ken's best friend betrayed him. At least Ken and Omi had something
going for them. They loved each other and that was the important
thing.
" Aya you remember the first day you came to Weiss? I remember you in
my bed breathing and whispering Aya's name. I remember thinking that
you were the most beautiful thing I had seen in a while. But you see
I was afraid. I was afraid that I was attracted to you. To me it
felt like I was betraying Asuka by thinking of someone else. Also
the fact that you made it easy to ignore. Those first years you were
so closed off, trying so much to be emotionless. Like a statue.
Everyday you tried to much to avenge your sister and everyday I loved
you more. I was jealous of the devotion you had for Aya, I wanted it
for me. I wanted you. Nonetheless when I thought you were mine, you
left. You see now I know how you felt, you were afraid of me.
Afraid that I would make you feel again, the same things I feared
from you. The same things." whispered Yohji close to Aya.
Beeeeeeeeeeep
A code blue in room 206.
We are losing him.
Give him a heart massage!
Clear!
No pulse.
Again.clear.
Still no pulse!
Get him out of here!
Sir you can't stay here.
No, No please.
Sir please wait outside.
No!
Clear!
No pulse!
How long has it been?
Three minutes.
Damn it!
It's just so dark in here.
Oniichan go back!
I-I'm so tired.
Oniichan!.
Aya!.
Please forgive me. I just need to lay down a while.
Clear.
Still no pulse!..
# The friend#
We sat across the table.
he said, cut off your hands.
they are always poking at things.
they might touch me.
I said yes.
Food grew cold on the table.
he said, burn your body.
it is not clean and smell like sex.
it rubs my mind sore.
I said yes.
I love you, I said.
That's very nice, he said
I like to be loved,
that makes me happy.
Have you cut off your hands yet?
Marge Piercy
TBC