Author: White Kiss - PG-13 - English - Romance
Winter ~ Snowdrop: Part Two //Youji//
Notes:
Weiss Kreuz is property of Koyasu Takehito, Kyoko
Tsuchiya, Marine Entertainment, and Project Weiss.
This fic was inspired by a lot of Savage Garden.
- White Kiss [formerly Rina Garet]
03/25/02, 3:27 pm
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Aya, you cold fucking bastard.
God, I know I'm trash, but you're even worse. I don't lead people on and break their hearts. At least… not on purpose.
How can you go from "I love you" to "I'll kill you" in a matter of days?
How do you become the object of the one you love's contempt and hatred so quickly? How can you look him in the eye when he tells you he'll kill you if he has to?
I don't know, but I did it.
He said he would kill me if he had to.
Little does he know…
He killed me that night. I thought I was already dead, but he killed every last bit of humanity in me, crushed every last piece of my heart that had recovered from everything I'd been through in my worthless, jaded life.
I don't know if that's what he was aiming for, but that's what he got. Not that I can tell him, I'll probably never see him again. And if I do, we'll be on less than friendly terms.
Why can't I just get over him, like every other lay in my life. That's all he is now, a figure in the past.
I didn't love him enough to drop everything else for him. And he didn't love me enough to stay. So what's the point of crying over broken promises, like so much spilt milk? I'll smoke in the rain instead. I can pretend the wet spots on my cheeks are from raindrops, and not from tears.
Come, or goodbye. My choice. Why did it have to be MY choice? Why couldn't I make him choose? Stay or goodbye?
Because I'd finally found a person I didn't want to say goodbye to.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
"Nothing". He walks away.
Not a care in the world, not a bridge left unburnt.
Exactly how I used to be. Funny, how things hurt so much more when you see them turn on yourself.
"Aya." It's a choked whisper, not even loud enough for him to hear.
I turn and sprint back into the house, lock myself in my room, and stand with my back to the door, panting. My heart is going to burst. It hurts so much that I just wish it would get it over with and be done.
I try to convince myself it's a dream, and that I'll wake up beside him again, and everything will be alright. That I'll have his arms around me and I can whisper soft things to him, and make love to him, and things won't have changed.
But I can't.
I can't.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
No matter how hard I try, that night clings in my memory.
Does he ever feel sorry? Does he ever wish he'd done things differently?
I do. I wish one thing had happened differently. Only one thing out of that entire night, I wish I could change.
I wish he had said goodbye.